Fw: : 20 Pain Killers in your Kitchen holycow

VERY INTERESTING AND IF THESE REALLY WORK THEN THEY ARE A GREAT ALTERNATIVE TO TAKING MEDICATION 20 Painkillers in Your Kitchen Make muscle pain a memory with ginger When Danish researchers asked achy people to jazz up their diets with ginger, it eased muscle and joint pain, swelling and stiffness for up to 63 percent of them within two months. Experts credit ginger's potent compounds called gingerols, which prevent the production of pain-triggering hormones. The study-recommended dose: Add at least 1 teaspoon of dried ginger or 2 teaspoons of chopped ginger to meals daily. Cure a toothache with cloves Got a toothache and can't get to the dentist? Gently chewing on a clove can ease tooth pain and gum inflammation for two hours straight, say UCLA researchers. Experts point to a natural compound in cloves called eugenol, a powerful, natural anesthetic. Bonus: Sprinkling a ¼ teaspoon of ground cloves on meals daily may also protect your ticker. Scientists say this simple action helps stabilize blood sugar, plus dampen production of artery-clogging cholesterol in as little as three weeks. Heal heartburn with cider vinegar Sip 1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar mixed with 8 ounces of water before every meal, and experts say you could shut down painful bouts of heartburn in as little as 24 hours. "Cider vinegar is rich in malic and tartaric acids, powerful digestive aids that speed the breakdown of fats and proteins so your stomach can empty quickly, before food washes up into the esophagus, triggering heartburn pain," explains Joseph Brasco, M.D., a gastroenterologist at the Center for Colon and Digestive Diseases in Huntsville, AL. Erase earaches with garlic Painful ear infections drive millions of Americans to doctors' offices every year. To cure one fast, just place two drops of warm garlic oil into your aching ear twice daily for five days. This simple treatment can clear up ear infections faster than prescription meds, say experts at the University of New Mexico School of Medicine. Scientists say garlic's active ingredients (germanium, selenium, and sulfur compounds) are naturally toxic to dozens of different pain-causing bacteria. To whip up your own garlic oil gently simmer three cloves of crushed garlic in a half a cup of extra virgin olive oil for two minutes, strain, then refrigerate for up to two weeks, suggests Teresa Graedon, Ph.D., co-author of the book, Best Choices From The People's Pharmacy. For an optimal experience, warm this mix slightly before using so the liquid will feel soothing in your ear canal. Chase away joint and headache pain with cherries Latest studies show that at least one in four women is struggling with arthritis, gout or chronic headaches. If you're one of them, a daily bowl of cherries could ease your ache, without the stomach upset so often triggered by today's painkillers, say researchers at East Lansing 's Michigan State University . Their research reveals that anthocyanins, the compounds that give cherries their brilliant red color, are anti-inflammatories 10 times stronger than ibuprofen and aspirin. "Anthocyanins help shut down the powerful enzymes that kick-start tissue inflammation, so they can prevent, as well as treat, many different kinds of pain," explains Muraleedharan Nair, Ph.D., professor of food science at Michigan State University . His advice: Enjoy 20 cherries (fresh, frozen or dried) daily, then continue until your pain disappears. Fight tummy troubles with fish Indigestion, irritable bowel syndrome, inflammatory bowel diseases...if your belly always seems to be in an uproar, try munching 18 ounces of fish weekly to ease your misery. Repeated studies show that the fatty acids in fish, called EPA and DHA, can significantly reduce intestinal inflammation, cramping and belly pain and, in some cases, provide as much relief as corticosteroids and other prescription meds. "EPA and DHA are powerful, natural, side effect-free anti-inflammatories, that can dramatically improve the function of the entire gastrointestinal tract," explains biological chemist Barry Sears, Ph.D., president of the Inflammation Research Foundation in Marblehead , MA . For best results, look for oily fish like salmon, sardines, tuna, mackerel, trout and herring. Prevent PMS with yogurt Up to 80 percent of women will struggle with premenstrual syndrome and its uncomfortable symptoms, report Yale researchers. The reason: Their nervous systems are sensitive to the ups and downs in estrogen and progesterone that occur naturally every month. But snacking on 2 cups of yogurt a day can slash these symptoms by 48 percent, say researchers at New York 's Columbia University . "Yogurt is rich in calcium, a mineral that naturally calms the nervous system, preventing painful symptoms even when hormones are in flux," explains Mary Jane Minkin, M.D., a professor of gynecology at Yale University . Tame chronic pain with turmeric Studies show turmeric, a popular East Indian spice, is actually three times more effective at easing pain than aspirin, ibuprofen or naproxen, plus it can help relieve chronic pain for 50 percent of people struggling with arthritis and even fibromyalgia, according to Cornell researchers. That's because turmeric's active ingredient, curcumin, naturally shuts down cyclooxygenase 2, an enzyme that churns out a stream of pain-producing hormones, explains nutrition researcher Julian Whitaker, M.D. and author of the book, Reversing Diabetes. The study-recommended dose: Sprinkle 1/4 teaspoon of this spice daily onto any rice, poultry, meat or vegetable dish. End endometrial pain with oats The ticket to soothing endometriosis pain could be a daily bowl of oatmeal. Endometriosis occurs when little bits of the uterine lining detach and grow outside of the uterus. Experts say these migrating cells can turn menstruation into a misery, causing so much inflammation that they trigger severe cramping during your period, plus a heavy ache that drags on all month long. Fortunately, scientists say opting for a diet rich in oats can help reduce endometrial pain for up to 60 percent of women within six months. That's because oats don't contain gluten, a trouble-making protein that triggers inflammation in many women, making endometriosis difficult to bear, explains Peter Green, M.D., professor of medicine at Colombia University . Soothe foot pain with salt Experts say at least six million Americans develop painful ingrown toenails each year. But regularly soaking ingrown nails in warm salt water baths can cure these painful infections within four days, say scientists at California 's Stanford University . The salt in the mix naturally nixes inflammation, plus it's anti-bacterial, so it quickly destroys the germs that cause swelling and pain. Just mix 1 teaspoon of salt into each cup of water, heat to the warmest temperature that you can comfortably stand, and then soak the affected foot area for 20 minutes twice daily, until your infection subsides. Prevent digestive upsets with pineapple Got gas? One cup of fresh pineapple daily can cut painful bloating within 72 hours, say researchers at California 's Stanford University . That's because pineapple is natually packed with proteolytic enzymes, digestive aids that help speed the breakdown of pain-causing proteins in the stomach and small intestine, say USDA researchers. Relax painful muscles with peppermint Suffering from tight, sore muscles? Stubborn knots can hang around for months if they aren't properly treated, says naturopath Mark Stengler, N.D., author of the book, The Natural Physician's Healing Therapies. His advice: Three times each week, soak in a warm tub scented with 10 drops of peppermint oil. The warm water will relax your muscles, while the peppermint oil will naturally soothe your nerves -- a combo that can ease muscle cramping 25 percent more effectively than over-the-counter painkillers, and cut the frequency of future flare-ups in half, says Stengler. Give your back some TLC with grapes Got an achy back? Grapes could be the ticket to a speedy recovery. Recent studies at Ohio State University suggest eating a heaping cup of grapes daily can relax tight blood vessels, significantly improving blood flow to damaged back tissues (and often within three hours of enjoying the first bowl). That's great news because your back's vertebrae and shock-absorbing discs are completely dependent on nearby blood vessels to bring them healing nutrients and oxygen, so improving blood flow is essential for healing damaged back tissue, says Stengler. Wash away pain injuries with water Whether it's your feet, your knees or your shoulders that are throbbing, experts at New York 's Manhattan College , say you could kick-start your recovery in one week just by drinking eight 8-ounce glasses of water daily. Why? Experts say water dilutes, and then helps flush out, histamine, a pain-triggering compound produced by injured tissues. "Plus water is a key building block of the cartilage that cushions the ends of your bones, your joints' lubricating fluid, and the soft discs in your spine," adds Susan M. Kleiner, Ph.D., author of the book, The Good Mood Diet. "And when these tissues are well-hydrated, they can move and glide over each other without causing pain." One caveat: Be sure to measure your drinking glasses to find out how large they really are before you start sipping, she says. Today's juice glasses often hold more than 12 ounces, which means five servings could be enough to meet your daily goal. Heal sinus problems with horseradish Latest studies show sinusitis is the nation's number one chronic health problem. And this condition doesn't just spur congestion and facial pain, it also makes sufferers six times more likely to feel achy all-over. Horseradish to the rescue! According to German researchers, this eye-watering condiment naturally revs up blood flow to the sinus cavities, helping to open and drain clogged sinuses and heal sinus infections more quickly than decongestant sprays do. The study-recommended dose: One teaspoon twice daily (either on its own, or used as a sandwich or meat topping) until symptoms clear. Beat bladder infections with blueberries Eating 1 cup of blueberries daily, whether you opt for them fresh, frozen or in juice form, can cut your risk of a urinary tract infection (UTIs) by 60 percent, according to researchers at New Jersey's Rutgers University. That's because blueberries are loaded with tannins, plant compounds that wrap around problem-causing bacteria in the bladder, so they can't get a toehold and create an infection, explains Amy Howell, Ph.D. a scientist at Rutgers University . Heal mouth sores with honey Dab painful canker and cold sores with unpasteurized honey four times daily until these skin woes disappear, and they'll heal 43 percent faster than if you use a prescription cream, say researchers at the Dubai Specialized Medical Center in the United Arab Emirates . Raw honey's natural enzymes zap inflammation, destroy invading viruses and speed the healing of damaged tissues, say the study authors. Fight breast pain with flax In one recent study, adding 3 tablespoons of ground flax to their daily diet eased breast soreness for one in three women within 12 weeks. Scientists credit flax's phytoestrogens, natural plant compounds that prevent the estrogen spikes that can trigger breast pain. More good news: You don't have to be a master baker to sneak this healthy seed into your diet. Just sprinkle ground flax on oatmeal, yogurt, applesauce or add it to smoothies and veggie dips. Cure migraines with coffee Prone to migraines? Try muscling-up your painkiller with a coffee chaser. Whatever over-the-counter pain med you prefer, researchers at the National Headache Foundation say washing it down with a strong 12- ounce cup of coffee will boost the effectiveness of your medication by 40 percent or more. Experts say caffeine stimulates the stomach lining to absorb painkillers more quickly and more effectively. Tame leg cramps with tomato juice At least one in five people regularly struggle with leg cramps. The culprit? Potassium deficiencies, which occur when this mineral is flushed out by diuretics, caffeinated beverages or heavy perspiration during exercise. But sip 10 ounces of potassium-rich tomato juice daily and you'll not only speed your recovery, you'll reduce your risk of painful cramp flare-ups in as little as 10 days, say UCLA researchers.

9 types of vagina...

Ladies which one are you?? Guys i'm sure had one or more of the following:

SHORTCHANGED Vagina -
When the woman is extremely sexy and beautiful. She moves the right way, smells good, and oozes sensuality. However, when it comes to sex, she has no clue! She's like a bump on a log. The very thought of stroking this vagina can make you cum before it's time. She talks a good game but CANNOT walk the talk. When she tries to guide your penis into her vagina, she cuts it with her nails.
By the time you get another boner, her vagina is dry and feels like sandpaper. By the time you get in, you find out that your penis is too big for her short vagina. When you go to lick the vagina you find out that it is a little tart and now you start thinking to yourself, "how can such a fine woman be so feeble?" Undaunted, you decide that you're going to make the best of a bad situation and get your rocks off when she says "don't cum in me because I'm not taking anything." What a waste.

SWEET LIPS Vagina -
This is substitute vagina. She sucks major penis like a pro. She sucks it so good that your knees buckle to the point where you wanna pass out. It was good enough to make you look for something to hold onto. She can suck the chrome off of a car's bumper. Then she slips your penis into her vagina and you realize that her mouth was much better.
You try to maneuver your penis back to her mouth any way you possibly can. But no cigar. So, you just go in the corner of the bedroom...and cry.

YES MA'AM Vagina -
This is the kind of vagina your mother warned you about! This vagina is often misjudged because of the owners meek mannerisms.
She is quiet, reserved, caters to your every whim and shows no inkling of the treasure that lies between her thighs. She seems to be a scholarly type but not quite prudish. You think to yourself "I'm gonna tear this vagina up." Only to find that she was only playing possum.
You were so caught off guard that your whole f**king plan needed instant revision. She was your equal, having as much game as you. You must give her props, realizing that you came within a bat's eyelash of having your brains f**ked out.
Gentleman, be wary of this vagina and be prepared. Your best defense is a good offense and a long stiff thick penis with staying power.

THUNDER THIGHS Vagina (THE Vagina YOU'RE GETTING FROM SOMEONE WHO IS NOT YOUR WOMAN) -
Men who have cheated on their woman temporarily can say, "AMEN" to this class of vagina.
Men, this is the class of vagina that makes you cry and confess to your woman, you f**ked someone else. The Thunder Thighs vagina made you want to tell somebody. Thunder Thighs vagina is in a class of its own. Thunder Thighs vagina will make you look and feel different about the vagina you got at home.
Thunder Thighs vagina makes you bust several nuts (i.e.,multiple orgasms). Makes you cry and you have no clue as to why. This vagina is so intense, when it is wrapped around your penis or your face it sends you into a trance. She has a smooth, undulating motion, constantly asks you if your comfortable, you started at 6PM and it is now going on 9PM and she is not tired and her vagina ain't sloppy yet. She sucks on your penis and savors it like you're the main course meal. She sensuously flicks the head of your penis with her tongue like a lollipop.
By now you're in shock and forget about your woman. When you're back with your woman, you're wondering why she can't perform like Thunder Thighs vagina. You even have the nerve to get mad and then instruct her to do what Thunder Thighs did to you.
Thunder Thighs vagina will have you searching for her in the daytime with a flashlight. Period.

THE STALKER Vagina -
This is the vagina that pisses you off the most. You see, the woman you boned for a fling or as a favor keeps coming back like a bad cold. Pops up when you least expect it.
If she has a bad day at work, she "stalks your penis." If she, has a bad meal, "she stalks your penis." If she has a bad hair day, she "stalks your penis." If she sees an ex, she "stalks your penis." No matter what, she "stalks your penis."
It is easy to tell if the woman you're with falls into this category. She always uses phrases like these when she is f**king you: "DON'T RUN FROM THIS vagina." "DIS SUM GOOD vagina right?" " TELL ME YOU LIKE THIS vagina." "WHAT IS MY NAME?" "WHO'S penis IS THIS?" "TALK TO ME DADDY, I DON'T HEAR YOU TALKING SHIT NOW," and finally, "I KNOW YOU LIKE IT WHEN YOU IN THIS vagina!"

TUNA Vagina -
This is the vagina that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. You can recognize it easily because she may have cats and flies swarming around her, or everybody at the local pub knows her name.
When you walk into a room, you know she is there or was there. This is a very, VERY dangerous vagina. The problem is that the babe is fine and you ain't had no vagina in a long while. The dog in you wants some vagina. You know that this vagina is experienced and could put a hurt on you in more ways than one.
This is the vagina you don't want anyone to know you sampled. You DON'T EAT this vagina. After you sample this vagina, you immediately take a shower or at the very least scrub your penis in the sink with some disinfectant.

WATERING HOLE Vagina -
This is good convenient vagina. The Understanding vagina. The no lets Just do it vagina. The Easy vagina. The vagina you can call when your body needs a fix. She gives you major head like SWEET LIPS vagina, and f**ks you like THUNDER THIGHS vagina. Only thing is, you do not have a woman so you're not feeling guilty. Whenever you call, this vagina is ready. Her vagina craves your penis. This vagina is available in any place at anytime...21 Gun salute!

GODDAMN Vagina -
Men, now this is vagina that will definitely send you to hell if you're not married to it. This vagina is just like YES MA'AM and THUNDER THIGHS vagina. Her vagina is snug, not too tight, and juicy.
She can accommodate larger than average size penis. She has good control of her vagina muscles which can make any size penis feel like at home.
This vagina makes you numb, cry and pray all at the same time. While you are giving it to her doggy style or with you laying down and she sits on top of you, you look towards the heavens and say, "COTDAMN THIS IS SOME GOOD vagina!!!"

* AMAZON Vagina * -
Gentlemen, this is the gold mine vagina.
This vagina is the vagina that you commit yourself too.
You do not cheat on it and you keep it a well kept secret. In fact, you constantly crave and feign for this vagina.
When you get this vagina, you go through convulsions.
This is the vagina that makes you READY even when you ain't.
You call in sick from work for it.
This vagina is so major, it is YES M'AM vagina, WATERING HOLE vagina, THUNDER THIGHS vagina and GODDAMN vagina all in one!
This is the vagina that you want to put insurance on, just in case anything should happen to it.
This vagina makes you stutter while speaking and has you nervous for no reason.
There's a tear in my eye..

A bit of Irish pets

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle; They walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.

The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.... Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.

At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place..'

He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.

Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat.

Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!'

THERE'S MORE !!!!!.

Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass.

He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other..

'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.

He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.

He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.

Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.

Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone
in his body.

Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrot shooting either!'

IT IS NOT OVER YET!!!

Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.

He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.

Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.

Once more Paddy shakes his head.

'Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrot shooting... And now Sean and his fook'n hen gliding!'


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Got to love a blonde!!!

One day a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven.

God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was
going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven.

So the redhead made it to the 45th step and laughed.

The brunette made it to the 200th step and laughed.

But the blonde made it to the 999th step and laughed even before god told his joke.

God asked "Why did you laugh I haven't even told the joke yet"

The blonde said "I know, I just now got the first one!!!

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Fw: JEWISH SEX

Jewish Sex

A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding meets with their rabbi for counseling.

The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave.

The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd like your permission to dance together, like the rest of the world."

"Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest. Men and women always dance separately."

"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"

"No," answered the rabbi. "It's forbidden."

"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"

"Of course!" replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah a good thing within marriage, to have children!"

"What about different positions?" asks the man

"No problem," says the rabbi "It's a mitzvah!"

"Woman on top?" the man asks.

"Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah!"

"Doggy style?"

"Sure! Another mitzvah!"

"On the kitchen table?"

"Yes, yes! A mitzvah!"

"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"

"You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!"

"Can we do it standing up?"

"Absolutely Not!" says the rabbi."

"Why not?" asks the man.

"Could lead to dancing!

Fw: Cell Phone, very good information

Did you ever wonder who invented the Cell Phone? Ok, let's say that you are
On a TV game show and have to answer this question to win $10M. The question
Is, who invented the cellular phone? In all probability most of us could not
Answer this question. Those of you who know are in a very small minority.

The inventor of the Cellular phone is Henry Sampson, Jr. Sampson is an
African-American from Jackson , Mississippi . He attended Morehouse and
Transferred to Purdue. He received an MS in Engineering from the University
Of California (Go Bears). He was awarded an MS in Nuclear Engineering from
Illinois and his Ph.D from Illinois . Sampson is the first African-American
To receive a Ph.D in Nuclear Engineering.

In 1971 Sampson was awarded a patent for the "gamma-electric cell." This
Technology was used in the cellular phone. Hopefully Dr. Sampson was well
Rewarded for his efforts.

All right, now that you have this information join the "Tell a Brother Club"
By passing this information on to more individuals who are uninformed.
(Barbershops and Beauty Salons are great places to discuss this info).
During the week let the entire world know about Dr. Sampson. This is called
The "Breakdown the Stereotype Campaign."




??

Children Are Quick

1. TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find   North America  .  
MARIA:         Here it  is.  
TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered   America ?  
CLASS:         Maria.
   
2.TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? 
JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.

3. TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' 
GLENN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER:  No, that's wrong 
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.  

(I  Love this child)   
4. TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:   What are you talking about? DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.

5. TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE:       Me!

6. TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN:          Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

7. TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting with '  I.  ' MILLIE:         I  is..
TEACHER:     No, Millie..... Always say, 'I  am.' MILLIE:         All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'  

8 . TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.                     Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS:           Because George still had the axe in his hand....    

9. TEACHER:    Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON:         No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

9. TEACHER:       Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your   brother's.. Did you copy his? CLYDE  :         No, sir. It's the same dog.     
(I want to adopt this kid!!!) 

10.TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:     A teacher


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Just too embarrassed

Little Kevin was at school one morning when the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, Company CEO, etc.

But Kevin was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. 

"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took Little Kevin aside to ask him if that was really true. "NO" said Kevin.

"He plays cricket for West Indies but I was just too embarrassed to say that.!!! 
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Fw: Top Five Regrets

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-----Original Message-----
From: filly2912@aol.com
Date: Mon, 11 Apr 2011 17:13:09
Subject: Top Five Regrets








THIS IS HOW I LIVE MY LIVE.......SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY!!!







UNDOUTEDLY SOME OF THE WISEST ADVICE ON LIFE FROM THOSE WHO WERE EXITING THIS WORLD. IF WE LEARN FROM THIS WE CAN STOP STRIVING TO FIND HAPPINESS AND ACTUALLY FIND IT.


Magz


































Top Five Regrets




By Bronnie Ware

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:


1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me


This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.



2. I wish I didn't work so hard


This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.



3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings


Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.



4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends


Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.



5. I wish that I had let myself be happier



They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.


How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
























































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‎​LITTLE BILLY

The teacher asked billy if there are 4 birds on a tree, and one gets shot, how many will be left on the tree?

Billy says none, because when u shoot one bird, the rest will fly away.

The teacher, impressed, replies, the answer is 3 birds left, but I like the way you're thinking.

Billy says, let me ask you a question Miss, there are 3 women eating ice cream in different ways, one biting, one sucking and one licking, which women is married?

The teacher, nervously says the one sucking. Billy says, no the answer is the one with a wedding ring on, but I like the way you're thinking ;)
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4 Parachutes

A plane with 4 passengers is about to crash, but has only three parachutes. The first passenger says "I'm Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me. I can't afford to die." So he takes the first parachute and leaves the plane.  The second passenger, Sarah Palin, says "I was the running mate of the former Republican Party candidate for President of the United States. I am the most ambitious woman in the world. I am also a former Alaska Governor, a potential future  President, and above all, the smartest woman in America." She grabs the second parachute and leaves the plane The third passenger, The Rev. Billy Graham, says to the fourth passenger, a 10 year old school boy, "I am old and I don't have many years left. As a Christian I will sacrifice my life and let you have the  last parachute.  The boy says, "It's okay. There is still a parachute left for you America's smartest woman took my school backpack."

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The Polite Way to Pee...

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
 
'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'
 
Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
 
The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite.  What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
 
Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
 
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.
 
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'
 
Johnny said 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'
 
The teacher fainted... 

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Adult Truths

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies.....Quit Laughing. Heal the past, live the present, dream the future. Enjoy life!!!

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Fw: Dinner Date

A man was dining in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to speak to her. Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back. 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said as she popped her eye back in place... 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she said. They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterward went to the theatre and later had drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened. After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.  They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been SO incredible! 'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Do you   treat every guy you meet this way?' 'No,' she replied . . . 'You just happened to catch my eye.'     (Oh shut up!)

Chinese 2011 Horoscope

This  is a Chinese Feng Shui horoscope.  If  you are honest this tells the truth. Write  your answers on paper.

To  find your Feng Shui horoscope scroll  down.

1.  Which is your favorite color: Red,  Black, Blue, Green or  Yellow?
2.  Your first initial?
3.  Your month of birth?
4.  Which color do you like more, Black or  White?
5.  The name of a person that is the same sex as  you?
6.  Your favorite number?
7.  Do you like   California or   Florida  more?
8.  Do you like a  Lake or the  Ocean more?
9.  Write down a Wish(a realistic one) When  you are done, scroll down. Don't  cheat!

ANSWERS:
1.  If  you choose:

Red: You are  alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are  conservative and  aggressive.
Green:  Your soul is  relaxed and you are laid  back.
Blue:    You are  spontaneous and love affection.
Yellow: You are a very happy person  & give good advice to those who are  down.

2.  If  your initial is between:
A-K:  You have a lot of love and friendships in your  life.
L-R: You try to live your life  to the max & your love life is soon to  bloom.
S-Z: You like to help others  and your future looks very bright.

3.  If  you were born in:
Jan-Mar:   The year will go very well for you and you will  discover that  you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr-Jun:   You will have a  strong love relationship that will last  forever.
Jul-Sep:     You will have a great year and will experience a  major life changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec:   Your life will  be great; you will find your soul  mate.

4.  If  you choose:
Black:  Your life is about to get better. You are more  than ready for  the change.
White: You have a friend who  completely confides in you and would  do anything for you, but you may not realize  it.

5.  This person should be your Best  Friend.

6.  This is how many close friends you will  have in your life time.

7.  If  you choose:
California  :   You like adventure.
Florida  :  You are a  laid back person.

8.  If  you choose:
Lake :   You are loyal to  your friends and your lover. You are very  reservedly: You are spontaneous  and like to please people.

9.  This  wish will come true if you send this to 1 person  in one hour.
Send this to ten people and it  will come true before your next birthday.





                               

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you...... This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, I purchased a week of personal training at the local health club.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started!
The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
______________________________
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was
well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god with blond hair,dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines... I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
______________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.
Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
______________________________
WEDNESDAY:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members.. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is
VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too.
______________________________
THURSDAY:
Butt hole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.
He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny witch to find me.
Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.
______________________________
FRIDAY:

I hate that jackass Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny,anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.
Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
______________________________
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel..
______________________________
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal
or a hysterectomy.

I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

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The Beauty of Black Relationships

I intend to help us become even more aware by giving you what I firmly believe is the list of requirements the black man & woman must live by to change our communities for the absolute best.

Like it or not there is so much about US that IS & HAS been DIRECTLY contributing to the downfall & perpetual decay of the black community & it HAS to come to an end NOW! The ONLY way that this will happen is that we follow the highly disciplined, courageous, determined & TRIUMPHANT example of our egyptian brethren. But we MUST do something NOW and I have created a list of propositions that must take place as the PLATFORM from which to Launch this new renaissance in the black community.

Please read & retain a copy:

10 Major cultural shifts must take place in order to get a grasp on our children's education, our marriages, black relationships, aids, abortions & incarceration under control. We are NOT going to want to do this & MANY will fight to keep from doing it but these things MUST TRANSPIRE or we are NOT going to be the beneficiaries of ANY CHANGE:

1. SINGLE MOTHERING: Black feminine independence, opinion & right to do as she pleases in stark contravention to authority & repercussions that work in DIRECT "opposition" to society, traditional marriage, conformity & structure, & unity in our community to instead cater to SELF.

2. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY: We DON'T take responsibility for our own actions & fight those of us who try to get US to collectively do so. We are hell bent on blaming someone else & typically that someone else is the white man or the system whom we've become accustomed to relying on as the great black diversionary tactic in wiping our asses of our messes onto someone else or something else.

3. SEXUAL PROMISCUITY: Our sexual looseness is APPALLING. Both black men & women have reduced each other to an easy lay, booty calls, & one night stands scouring the bars & night clubs prowling for instant gratification. We cal each other bitches & whores & we've gotten just as bad as caucasian america in the deviant methods of sexual gratification. It's sickening & it MUST stop!

4.MANDATORY MARRIAGE: We MUST start endorsing MARRIAGE as the ONLY sanctuary for the upbringing of our precious children. Marriages are NOT FOR US to make US happy. They are designed for the best interest of our CHILDREN. NOT YOU! Marriages are imperative both economically physically & for the mental health of our children as they grow up. Currently our marriages are failing so our children are failing because we shun marriage in exchange or "baby daddies" & "baby mommas" & this is DEPLORABLE & MUST cease.

5.EMOTIONAL MATURITY: without this very crucial component in our mental development all of the above is futile. We must mature first before we undertake the major burden of having & raising children. You only get one chance to raise that child right so we must get ourselves right prior to raising children.

6. NEIGHBORHOOD BLIGHT REMOVAL: We need to clean up our neighborhoods of blight & crime & keep them clean so our property will go up & businesses will return to our neighborhoods & fuel them with the desperately needed tax revenue that the schools in those black neighborhoods NEED & are currently STARVED of.

7. BLACK FATHERS: MUST return to our homes NOW despite your differences with the mother of that child & raise those children you sired. You DON'T have a choice MEN & the women who prohibit them access. You didn't complain when the sex was good, but now that you have a black LIFE to deal with you want to BAIL or you can't get along. It's time to grow up folks & FAST!

8. COOPERATION WITH SCHOOL OFFICIALS: work WITH the schools when they have a problem or a concern with your child & do NOT countermand these teachers. It's their job to TEACH your child and many others NOT to raise & discipline your child for YOU. When these teachers have to DEAL with YOUR out of control child, this prevents them from teaching your child & the other 30 or 40 in that class.

9. DISCIPLINE & STRUCTURE: Get your child off the streets especially your daughters NOW & put their heads in those books & yours too. You are their GUARDIAN & THEIR TEACHER. Teach them by raising them to be a good example but YOU must first be that good example. No child should be ripping & running the streets for ANY reason. NO EXCUSES FOLKS! EXCUSES are simply a PLEA to maintain the status quo & the black community isn't tolerating it any more.

10. CIVIC DUTY: REGISTER TO vote & VOTE all the time in every possible election you can find because when you DON'T & legislation is passed & governors, mayors, superintendents, councilmen, congress-persons, senators, & presidents are elected & you didn't vote...IT'S YOUR FAULT!
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How Sick!!

PHOENIX -- Two Valley men, one of them a music teacher, have been arrested for allegedly answering ads on the Internet site Craigslist offering dogs for sexual gratification with humans.

The arrests came after an undercover investigation was launched in December into reports that a number of people were using Craigslist to communicate with others who have an interest in bestiality, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio said in a news release Friday. The sheriff said the investigation indicated there is a secret language of Craigslist users engaged in the alleged crimes.

According to Arpaio, one suspect agreed to meet the handler and a male shepherd mix in a local hotel room where sex acts were to occur. Before the sex act, the suspect was arrested. The second suspect was arresetd on a separate occasion.

The suspects were identified as Keith D. Kiefer, 47, Mesa, an unemployed handyman and Patrick Stephen Trejo, 25, a music teacher at Raul H. Castro Middle School in Phoenix.

Arpaio's release noted the sheriff was a leader in a campaign in 2006 to make bestiality a felony crime in Arizona. That campaign followed the arrest of a Mesa deputy fire chief for attempting to fornicate with a sheep.

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Precautions

SENT BY A POLICEMAN - PLEASE READ!!!!!

Crucial Because of recent abductions In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you know.
After reading these 10 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!


2.. Learned this from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM .Toss it away from you.....Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you,and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.......The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit(doing their cheque book, or making a list, etc..

DON'T DO THIS!)The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE..

If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF,
Repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it .
As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot,or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you,look into your car,at the passenger side floor ,and in the back seat

B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door .Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side... If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.

6.) ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!

7.) If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then,it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8.) As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed.
Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9.) Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last,and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird.. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door..'The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it,but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night. 

10.) Water scam! If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full ball so that you will go out to investigate and then attack. Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbours!
Please pass this on This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on America 's Most Wanted when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana  I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle..

I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc.,you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in the it's better to be safe than sorry..Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or love one's life!
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The Old Lady and The Frog......

An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company.  So, off to the pet shop she went.  

She searched and searched. None of the pets seemed to catch her interest except this ugly frog.  As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her.

He whispered, 'I'm so lonely too.  Buy me and take me home….you won’t ever be sorry.'

The old lady figured, what the heck!  She hadn't found anything else.  So, she bought the frog.  She placed him in the car on the front seat beside her.  As she was slowly driving down the road, the frog whispered to her, 'Kiss me and you won’t be sorry!'
So the old lady figured, what the heck and kissed the frog. 
IMMEDIATELY the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, young and handsome prince. 
THE PRINCE THEN RETURNED THE OLD LADY'S KISS.

SUDDENLY THE OLD LADY FELT HERSELF TRANSFORMING FROM HIS KISS.

 

NOW CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THE OLD LADY TURNED INTO?

COME ON GUESS! 


*





SHE TURNED INTO the first Holiday Inn SHE COULD FIND!!!
She's old...... NOT DEAD!

 

OLD LADIES ROCK!

Agency Humor

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable. About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 List.. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone! The top 10 were: 10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up! 9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper. 8. Viagra, like a rock ! 7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight. 6. Viagra , Be all that you can be. 5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone. 4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman. 3. Viagra, Home of the whopper! 2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!  And the unanimous number one slogan:   1. This is your peepee... This is your peepee on drugs