Fw: : 20 Pain Killers in your Kitchen holycow

VERY INTERESTING AND IF THESE REALLY WORK THEN THEY ARE A GREAT ALTERNATIVE TO TAKING MEDICATION 20 Painkillers in Your Kitchen Make muscle pain a memory with ginger When Danish researchers asked achy people to jazz up their diets with ginger, it eased muscle and joint pain, swelling and stiffness for up to 63 percent of them within two months. Experts credit ginger's potent compounds called gingerols, which prevent the production of pain-triggering hormones. The study-recommended dose: Add at least 1 teaspoon of dried ginger or 2 teaspoons of chopped ginger to meals daily. Cure a toothache with cloves Got a toothache and can't get to the dentist? Gently chewing on a clove can ease tooth pain and gum inflammation for two hours straight, say UCLA researchers. Experts point to a natural compound in cloves called eugenol, a powerful, natural anesthetic. Bonus: Sprinkling a ¼ teaspoon of ground cloves on meals daily may also protect your ticker. Scientists say this simple action helps stabilize blood sugar, plus dampen production of artery-clogging cholesterol in as little as three weeks. Heal heartburn with cider vinegar Sip 1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar mixed with 8 ounces of water before every meal, and experts say you could shut down painful bouts of heartburn in as little as 24 hours. "Cider vinegar is rich in malic and tartaric acids, powerful digestive aids that speed the breakdown of fats and proteins so your stomach can empty quickly, before food washes up into the esophagus, triggering heartburn pain," explains Joseph Brasco, M.D., a gastroenterologist at the Center for Colon and Digestive Diseases in Huntsville, AL. Erase earaches with garlic Painful ear infections drive millions of Americans to doctors' offices every year. To cure one fast, just place two drops of warm garlic oil into your aching ear twice daily for five days. This simple treatment can clear up ear infections faster than prescription meds, say experts at the University of New Mexico School of Medicine. Scientists say garlic's active ingredients (germanium, selenium, and sulfur compounds) are naturally toxic to dozens of different pain-causing bacteria. To whip up your own garlic oil gently simmer three cloves of crushed garlic in a half a cup of extra virgin olive oil for two minutes, strain, then refrigerate for up to two weeks, suggests Teresa Graedon, Ph.D., co-author of the book, Best Choices From The People's Pharmacy. For an optimal experience, warm this mix slightly before using so the liquid will feel soothing in your ear canal. Chase away joint and headache pain with cherries Latest studies show that at least one in four women is struggling with arthritis, gout or chronic headaches. If you're one of them, a daily bowl of cherries could ease your ache, without the stomach upset so often triggered by today's painkillers, say researchers at East Lansing 's Michigan State University . Their research reveals that anthocyanins, the compounds that give cherries their brilliant red color, are anti-inflammatories 10 times stronger than ibuprofen and aspirin. "Anthocyanins help shut down the powerful enzymes that kick-start tissue inflammation, so they can prevent, as well as treat, many different kinds of pain," explains Muraleedharan Nair, Ph.D., professor of food science at Michigan State University . His advice: Enjoy 20 cherries (fresh, frozen or dried) daily, then continue until your pain disappears. Fight tummy troubles with fish Indigestion, irritable bowel syndrome, inflammatory bowel diseases...if your belly always seems to be in an uproar, try munching 18 ounces of fish weekly to ease your misery. Repeated studies show that the fatty acids in fish, called EPA and DHA, can significantly reduce intestinal inflammation, cramping and belly pain and, in some cases, provide as much relief as corticosteroids and other prescription meds. "EPA and DHA are powerful, natural, side effect-free anti-inflammatories, that can dramatically improve the function of the entire gastrointestinal tract," explains biological chemist Barry Sears, Ph.D., president of the Inflammation Research Foundation in Marblehead , MA . For best results, look for oily fish like salmon, sardines, tuna, mackerel, trout and herring. Prevent PMS with yogurt Up to 80 percent of women will struggle with premenstrual syndrome and its uncomfortable symptoms, report Yale researchers. The reason: Their nervous systems are sensitive to the ups and downs in estrogen and progesterone that occur naturally every month. But snacking on 2 cups of yogurt a day can slash these symptoms by 48 percent, say researchers at New York 's Columbia University . "Yogurt is rich in calcium, a mineral that naturally calms the nervous system, preventing painful symptoms even when hormones are in flux," explains Mary Jane Minkin, M.D., a professor of gynecology at Yale University . Tame chronic pain with turmeric Studies show turmeric, a popular East Indian spice, is actually three times more effective at easing pain than aspirin, ibuprofen or naproxen, plus it can help relieve chronic pain for 50 percent of people struggling with arthritis and even fibromyalgia, according to Cornell researchers. That's because turmeric's active ingredient, curcumin, naturally shuts down cyclooxygenase 2, an enzyme that churns out a stream of pain-producing hormones, explains nutrition researcher Julian Whitaker, M.D. and author of the book, Reversing Diabetes. The study-recommended dose: Sprinkle 1/4 teaspoon of this spice daily onto any rice, poultry, meat or vegetable dish. End endometrial pain with oats The ticket to soothing endometriosis pain could be a daily bowl of oatmeal. Endometriosis occurs when little bits of the uterine lining detach and grow outside of the uterus. Experts say these migrating cells can turn menstruation into a misery, causing so much inflammation that they trigger severe cramping during your period, plus a heavy ache that drags on all month long. Fortunately, scientists say opting for a diet rich in oats can help reduce endometrial pain for up to 60 percent of women within six months. That's because oats don't contain gluten, a trouble-making protein that triggers inflammation in many women, making endometriosis difficult to bear, explains Peter Green, M.D., professor of medicine at Colombia University . Soothe foot pain with salt Experts say at least six million Americans develop painful ingrown toenails each year. But regularly soaking ingrown nails in warm salt water baths can cure these painful infections within four days, say scientists at California 's Stanford University . The salt in the mix naturally nixes inflammation, plus it's anti-bacterial, so it quickly destroys the germs that cause swelling and pain. Just mix 1 teaspoon of salt into each cup of water, heat to the warmest temperature that you can comfortably stand, and then soak the affected foot area for 20 minutes twice daily, until your infection subsides. Prevent digestive upsets with pineapple Got gas? One cup of fresh pineapple daily can cut painful bloating within 72 hours, say researchers at California 's Stanford University . That's because pineapple is natually packed with proteolytic enzymes, digestive aids that help speed the breakdown of pain-causing proteins in the stomach and small intestine, say USDA researchers. Relax painful muscles with peppermint Suffering from tight, sore muscles? Stubborn knots can hang around for months if they aren't properly treated, says naturopath Mark Stengler, N.D., author of the book, The Natural Physician's Healing Therapies. His advice: Three times each week, soak in a warm tub scented with 10 drops of peppermint oil. The warm water will relax your muscles, while the peppermint oil will naturally soothe your nerves -- a combo that can ease muscle cramping 25 percent more effectively than over-the-counter painkillers, and cut the frequency of future flare-ups in half, says Stengler. Give your back some TLC with grapes Got an achy back? Grapes could be the ticket to a speedy recovery. Recent studies at Ohio State University suggest eating a heaping cup of grapes daily can relax tight blood vessels, significantly improving blood flow to damaged back tissues (and often within three hours of enjoying the first bowl). That's great news because your back's vertebrae and shock-absorbing discs are completely dependent on nearby blood vessels to bring them healing nutrients and oxygen, so improving blood flow is essential for healing damaged back tissue, says Stengler. Wash away pain injuries with water Whether it's your feet, your knees or your shoulders that are throbbing, experts at New York 's Manhattan College , say you could kick-start your recovery in one week just by drinking eight 8-ounce glasses of water daily. Why? Experts say water dilutes, and then helps flush out, histamine, a pain-triggering compound produced by injured tissues. "Plus water is a key building block of the cartilage that cushions the ends of your bones, your joints' lubricating fluid, and the soft discs in your spine," adds Susan M. Kleiner, Ph.D., author of the book, The Good Mood Diet. "And when these tissues are well-hydrated, they can move and glide over each other without causing pain." One caveat: Be sure to measure your drinking glasses to find out how large they really are before you start sipping, she says. Today's juice glasses often hold more than 12 ounces, which means five servings could be enough to meet your daily goal. Heal sinus problems with horseradish Latest studies show sinusitis is the nation's number one chronic health problem. And this condition doesn't just spur congestion and facial pain, it also makes sufferers six times more likely to feel achy all-over. Horseradish to the rescue! According to German researchers, this eye-watering condiment naturally revs up blood flow to the sinus cavities, helping to open and drain clogged sinuses and heal sinus infections more quickly than decongestant sprays do. The study-recommended dose: One teaspoon twice daily (either on its own, or used as a sandwich or meat topping) until symptoms clear. Beat bladder infections with blueberries Eating 1 cup of blueberries daily, whether you opt for them fresh, frozen or in juice form, can cut your risk of a urinary tract infection (UTIs) by 60 percent, according to researchers at New Jersey's Rutgers University. That's because blueberries are loaded with tannins, plant compounds that wrap around problem-causing bacteria in the bladder, so they can't get a toehold and create an infection, explains Amy Howell, Ph.D. a scientist at Rutgers University . Heal mouth sores with honey Dab painful canker and cold sores with unpasteurized honey four times daily until these skin woes disappear, and they'll heal 43 percent faster than if you use a prescription cream, say researchers at the Dubai Specialized Medical Center in the United Arab Emirates . Raw honey's natural enzymes zap inflammation, destroy invading viruses and speed the healing of damaged tissues, say the study authors. Fight breast pain with flax In one recent study, adding 3 tablespoons of ground flax to their daily diet eased breast soreness for one in three women within 12 weeks. Scientists credit flax's phytoestrogens, natural plant compounds that prevent the estrogen spikes that can trigger breast pain. More good news: You don't have to be a master baker to sneak this healthy seed into your diet. Just sprinkle ground flax on oatmeal, yogurt, applesauce or add it to smoothies and veggie dips. Cure migraines with coffee Prone to migraines? Try muscling-up your painkiller with a coffee chaser. Whatever over-the-counter pain med you prefer, researchers at the National Headache Foundation say washing it down with a strong 12- ounce cup of coffee will boost the effectiveness of your medication by 40 percent or more. Experts say caffeine stimulates the stomach lining to absorb painkillers more quickly and more effectively. Tame leg cramps with tomato juice At least one in five people regularly struggle with leg cramps. The culprit? Potassium deficiencies, which occur when this mineral is flushed out by diuretics, caffeinated beverages or heavy perspiration during exercise. But sip 10 ounces of potassium-rich tomato juice daily and you'll not only speed your recovery, you'll reduce your risk of painful cramp flare-ups in as little as 10 days, say UCLA researchers.

9 types of vagina...

Ladies which one are you?? Guys i'm sure had one or more of the following:

SHORTCHANGED Vagina -
When the woman is extremely sexy and beautiful. She moves the right way, smells good, and oozes sensuality. However, when it comes to sex, she has no clue! She's like a bump on a log. The very thought of stroking this vagina can make you cum before it's time. She talks a good game but CANNOT walk the talk. When she tries to guide your penis into her vagina, she cuts it with her nails.
By the time you get another boner, her vagina is dry and feels like sandpaper. By the time you get in, you find out that your penis is too big for her short vagina. When you go to lick the vagina you find out that it is a little tart and now you start thinking to yourself, "how can such a fine woman be so feeble?" Undaunted, you decide that you're going to make the best of a bad situation and get your rocks off when she says "don't cum in me because I'm not taking anything." What a waste.

SWEET LIPS Vagina -
This is substitute vagina. She sucks major penis like a pro. She sucks it so good that your knees buckle to the point where you wanna pass out. It was good enough to make you look for something to hold onto. She can suck the chrome off of a car's bumper. Then she slips your penis into her vagina and you realize that her mouth was much better.
You try to maneuver your penis back to her mouth any way you possibly can. But no cigar. So, you just go in the corner of the bedroom...and cry.

YES MA'AM Vagina -
This is the kind of vagina your mother warned you about! This vagina is often misjudged because of the owners meek mannerisms.
She is quiet, reserved, caters to your every whim and shows no inkling of the treasure that lies between her thighs. She seems to be a scholarly type but not quite prudish. You think to yourself "I'm gonna tear this vagina up." Only to find that she was only playing possum.
You were so caught off guard that your whole f**king plan needed instant revision. She was your equal, having as much game as you. You must give her props, realizing that you came within a bat's eyelash of having your brains f**ked out.
Gentleman, be wary of this vagina and be prepared. Your best defense is a good offense and a long stiff thick penis with staying power.

THUNDER THIGHS Vagina (THE Vagina YOU'RE GETTING FROM SOMEONE WHO IS NOT YOUR WOMAN) -
Men who have cheated on their woman temporarily can say, "AMEN" to this class of vagina.
Men, this is the class of vagina that makes you cry and confess to your woman, you f**ked someone else. The Thunder Thighs vagina made you want to tell somebody. Thunder Thighs vagina is in a class of its own. Thunder Thighs vagina will make you look and feel different about the vagina you got at home.
Thunder Thighs vagina makes you bust several nuts (i.e.,multiple orgasms). Makes you cry and you have no clue as to why. This vagina is so intense, when it is wrapped around your penis or your face it sends you into a trance. She has a smooth, undulating motion, constantly asks you if your comfortable, you started at 6PM and it is now going on 9PM and she is not tired and her vagina ain't sloppy yet. She sucks on your penis and savors it like you're the main course meal. She sensuously flicks the head of your penis with her tongue like a lollipop.
By now you're in shock and forget about your woman. When you're back with your woman, you're wondering why she can't perform like Thunder Thighs vagina. You even have the nerve to get mad and then instruct her to do what Thunder Thighs did to you.
Thunder Thighs vagina will have you searching for her in the daytime with a flashlight. Period.

THE STALKER Vagina -
This is the vagina that pisses you off the most. You see, the woman you boned for a fling or as a favor keeps coming back like a bad cold. Pops up when you least expect it.
If she has a bad day at work, she "stalks your penis." If she, has a bad meal, "she stalks your penis." If she has a bad hair day, she "stalks your penis." If she sees an ex, she "stalks your penis." No matter what, she "stalks your penis."
It is easy to tell if the woman you're with falls into this category. She always uses phrases like these when she is f**king you: "DON'T RUN FROM THIS vagina." "DIS SUM GOOD vagina right?" " TELL ME YOU LIKE THIS vagina." "WHAT IS MY NAME?" "WHO'S penis IS THIS?" "TALK TO ME DADDY, I DON'T HEAR YOU TALKING SHIT NOW," and finally, "I KNOW YOU LIKE IT WHEN YOU IN THIS vagina!"

TUNA Vagina -
This is the vagina that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. You can recognize it easily because she may have cats and flies swarming around her, or everybody at the local pub knows her name.
When you walk into a room, you know she is there or was there. This is a very, VERY dangerous vagina. The problem is that the babe is fine and you ain't had no vagina in a long while. The dog in you wants some vagina. You know that this vagina is experienced and could put a hurt on you in more ways than one.
This is the vagina you don't want anyone to know you sampled. You DON'T EAT this vagina. After you sample this vagina, you immediately take a shower or at the very least scrub your penis in the sink with some disinfectant.

WATERING HOLE Vagina -
This is good convenient vagina. The Understanding vagina. The no lets Just do it vagina. The Easy vagina. The vagina you can call when your body needs a fix. She gives you major head like SWEET LIPS vagina, and f**ks you like THUNDER THIGHS vagina. Only thing is, you do not have a woman so you're not feeling guilty. Whenever you call, this vagina is ready. Her vagina craves your penis. This vagina is available in any place at anytime...21 Gun salute!

GODDAMN Vagina -
Men, now this is vagina that will definitely send you to hell if you're not married to it. This vagina is just like YES MA'AM and THUNDER THIGHS vagina. Her vagina is snug, not too tight, and juicy.
She can accommodate larger than average size penis. She has good control of her vagina muscles which can make any size penis feel like at home.
This vagina makes you numb, cry and pray all at the same time. While you are giving it to her doggy style or with you laying down and she sits on top of you, you look towards the heavens and say, "COTDAMN THIS IS SOME GOOD vagina!!!"

* AMAZON Vagina * -
Gentlemen, this is the gold mine vagina.
This vagina is the vagina that you commit yourself too.
You do not cheat on it and you keep it a well kept secret. In fact, you constantly crave and feign for this vagina.
When you get this vagina, you go through convulsions.
This is the vagina that makes you READY even when you ain't.
You call in sick from work for it.
This vagina is so major, it is YES M'AM vagina, WATERING HOLE vagina, THUNDER THIGHS vagina and GODDAMN vagina all in one!
This is the vagina that you want to put insurance on, just in case anything should happen to it.
This vagina makes you stutter while speaking and has you nervous for no reason.
There's a tear in my eye..

A bit of Irish pets

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle; They walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.

The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.... Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.

At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place..'

He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.

Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat.

Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!'

THERE'S MORE !!!!!.

Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass.

He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other..

'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.

He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.

He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.

Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.

Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone
in his body.

Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrot shooting either!'

IT IS NOT OVER YET!!!

Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.

He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.

Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.

Once more Paddy shakes his head.

'Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrot shooting... And now Sean and his fook'n hen gliding!'


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Got to love a blonde!!!

One day a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven.

God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was
going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven.

So the redhead made it to the 45th step and laughed.

The brunette made it to the 200th step and laughed.

But the blonde made it to the 999th step and laughed even before god told his joke.

God asked "Why did you laugh I haven't even told the joke yet"

The blonde said "I know, I just now got the first one!!!

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Fw: JEWISH SEX

Jewish Sex

A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding meets with their rabbi for counseling.

The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave.

The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd like your permission to dance together, like the rest of the world."

"Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest. Men and women always dance separately."

"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"

"No," answered the rabbi. "It's forbidden."

"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"

"Of course!" replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah a good thing within marriage, to have children!"

"What about different positions?" asks the man

"No problem," says the rabbi "It's a mitzvah!"

"Woman on top?" the man asks.

"Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah!"

"Doggy style?"

"Sure! Another mitzvah!"

"On the kitchen table?"

"Yes, yes! A mitzvah!"

"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"

"You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!"

"Can we do it standing up?"

"Absolutely Not!" says the rabbi."

"Why not?" asks the man.

"Could lead to dancing!

Fw: Cell Phone, very good information

Did you ever wonder who invented the Cell Phone? Ok, let's say that you are
On a TV game show and have to answer this question to win $10M. The question
Is, who invented the cellular phone? In all probability most of us could not
Answer this question. Those of you who know are in a very small minority.

The inventor of the Cellular phone is Henry Sampson, Jr. Sampson is an
African-American from Jackson , Mississippi . He attended Morehouse and
Transferred to Purdue. He received an MS in Engineering from the University
Of California (Go Bears). He was awarded an MS in Nuclear Engineering from
Illinois and his Ph.D from Illinois . Sampson is the first African-American
To receive a Ph.D in Nuclear Engineering.

In 1971 Sampson was awarded a patent for the "gamma-electric cell." This
Technology was used in the cellular phone. Hopefully Dr. Sampson was well
Rewarded for his efforts.

All right, now that you have this information join the "Tell a Brother Club"
By passing this information on to more individuals who are uninformed.
(Barbershops and Beauty Salons are great places to discuss this info).
During the week let the entire world know about Dr. Sampson. This is called
The "Breakdown the Stereotype Campaign."




??

Children Are Quick

1. TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find   North America  .  
MARIA:         Here it  is.  
TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered   America ?  
CLASS:         Maria.
   
2.TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? 
JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.

3. TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' 
GLENN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER:  No, that's wrong 
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.  

(I  Love this child)   
4. TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:   What are you talking about? DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.

5. TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE:       Me!

6. TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN:          Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

7. TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting with '  I.  ' MILLIE:         I  is..
TEACHER:     No, Millie..... Always say, 'I  am.' MILLIE:         All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'  

8 . TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.                     Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS:           Because George still had the axe in his hand....    

9. TEACHER:    Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON:         No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

9. TEACHER:       Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your   brother's.. Did you copy his? CLYDE  :         No, sir. It's the same dog.     
(I want to adopt this kid!!!) 

10.TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:     A teacher


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