I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas and a jumbo sausage.
A poor homeless man sat there and said, 'I've not eaten for two days.'
I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'
I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today.
Apparently the instruction,
'finish off on her face' didn't mean what I thought it did.'
A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time. She said, 'sorry about the wait.'
I said, 'don't worry fatty, your bound to lose it eventually.'
Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
. I thought to myself "fat chance" with a face like that!'
I have a new chat up line that works every time!
It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be.
This line is a winner and I always end up in bed with them. Here's how it goes, 'Excuse me, love, could I ask your opinion?
Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'
Years ago it was suggested 'that an apple a day kept the doctor away.'
But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells.
Apparently "Blacks" and Mexicans were not the correct answers.
Sent from my BlackBerry® device from Digicel
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