Sunday, October 31, 2010
Storm
What a storm, what a breeze that blowed over our island. They say "God must be a Trini"and quite frankly I myself am starting to believe that.
Imagine no storm or severe weather warnings over the past few weeks from the (ODPM)Organization for disaster Preparedness and Management , resulting but not the cause of our capital city Port of Spain being under flood waters, on the outskirts of the city limits, landslips, rivers overflowing their banks citizens being marooned in their own homes, and tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage to home and livestock.
Now this! Big media frenzy, warnings galore and people put into a panic by the same people who stood silent at the first wave of waters or signs thereof.
Friday October 29 2010 will forever be known as the day the Media, the Meteorological service,the Supermarkets all and sundry pulled a fast one over the unassuming eyes of the populace of Trinidad and Tobago. For it seems that all that was accomplished in all that panic was increased sales for those supermarket and chain store owners as bottled water, candles and the like rolled off the shelves and sat next to trolleys filled to the brim by shoppers who against their better judgment, spent outside their budgets....for what?
Are we then to trust the would be cries of the Met service on their next weather advisory, or is it a safe bet to say that we've got our own business and heart in our own hands?
Two days later our tropical depression, now tropical storm Tomas the nineteenth named storm of the already volatile hurricane season, is bearing down hard on the Leeward islands including Barbados, with the likelihood of it pounding Jamaica and of course Haiti with hurricane force winds.
That being said we are and should be grateful and I guess count our lucky stars that another tragedy may have yet been averted, and maybe yes God may just be a Trini.
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Imagine no storm or severe weather warnings over the past few weeks from the (ODPM)Organization for disaster Preparedness and Management , resulting but not the cause of our capital city Port of Spain being under flood waters, on the outskirts of the city limits, landslips, rivers overflowing their banks citizens being marooned in their own homes, and tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage to home and livestock.
Now this! Big media frenzy, warnings galore and people put into a panic by the same people who stood silent at the first wave of waters or signs thereof.
Friday October 29 2010 will forever be known as the day the Media, the Meteorological service,the Supermarkets all and sundry pulled a fast one over the unassuming eyes of the populace of Trinidad and Tobago. For it seems that all that was accomplished in all that panic was increased sales for those supermarket and chain store owners as bottled water, candles and the like rolled off the shelves and sat next to trolleys filled to the brim by shoppers who against their better judgment, spent outside their budgets....for what?
Are we then to trust the would be cries of the Met service on their next weather advisory, or is it a safe bet to say that we've got our own business and heart in our own hands?
Two days later our tropical depression, now tropical storm Tomas the nineteenth named storm of the already volatile hurricane season, is bearing down hard on the Leeward islands including Barbados, with the likelihood of it pounding Jamaica and of course Haiti with hurricane force winds.
That being said we are and should be grateful and I guess count our lucky stars that another tragedy may have yet been averted, and maybe yes God may just be a Trini.
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Thursday, October 28, 2010
The Bunny and the Snake
Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and
an orphaned snake.
By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny
was hopping through the forest and the snake was slithering through the
forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down.
This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. "Oh, my," said the
bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind
since birth so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an
orphan, I don't even know what I am."
"It's quite ok," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is as yours. I am
blind from birth and an orphan. I tell you what. Maybe I could slither all
over you and work out what you are so at least you'll have that going for
you."
"Oh, that would be wonderful," replied the bunny.
So the snake slithered all over the bunny and said, "Well, you're covered
with soft fur. You have really long ears, your nose twitches and you have a
soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."
"Oh, thank you, thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The
bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw
and help you the same way that you've helped me."
So the bunny felt the snake all over and remarked, "Well, you're smooth,
slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say
you must be either a team leader, supervisor or possibly someone in senior
management."
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an orphaned snake.
By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny
was hopping through the forest and the snake was slithering through the
forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down.
This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. "Oh, my," said the
bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind
since birth so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an
orphan, I don't even know what I am."
"It's quite ok," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is as yours. I am
blind from birth and an orphan. I tell you what. Maybe I could slither all
over you and work out what you are so at least you'll have that going for
you."
"Oh, that would be wonderful," replied the bunny.
So the snake slithered all over the bunny and said, "Well, you're covered
with soft fur. You have really long ears, your nose twitches and you have a
soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."
"Oh, thank you, thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The
bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw
and help you the same way that you've helped me."
So the bunny felt the snake all over and remarked, "Well, you're smooth,
slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say
you must be either a team leader, supervisor or possibly someone in senior
management."
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Big Shot Trini
Big shot Trini Joe, grew up in Barataria by Jumbee bridge, then went away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to T&T because he felt he could be a Big Shot at home. He really wanted to impress everyone so he returned and opened his new law office on St Vincent Street among the big sawatees.
The first day, he saw a man coming up the passageway. He decided to create a big impression for this new prospective client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Joe grabbed up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking.
"No. Absolutely not! You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million. Yes, the Supreme Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be making the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide the necessary support."
He went on playing himself, "Okay, tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details."
The "conversation" went on for almost five minutes. All the while, the man sat patiently and quite unperturbed as Joe rattled instructions filled with endless legal jargon.
Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man, "I'm sorry for the delay but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"
The man replied, "I'm from TSTT, the telephone company. I came to hook up your phone."
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The first day, he saw a man coming up the passageway. He decided to create a big impression for this new prospective client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Joe grabbed up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking.
"No. Absolutely not! You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million. Yes, the Supreme Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be making the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide the necessary support."
He went on playing himself, "Okay, tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details."
The "conversation" went on for almost five minutes. All the while, the man sat patiently and quite unperturbed as Joe rattled instructions filled with endless legal jargon.
Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man, "I'm sorry for the delay but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"
The man replied, "I'm from TSTT, the telephone company. I came to hook up your phone."
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Wednesday, October 27, 2010
All Hail the King of PoP
Michael Jackson just etched himself into the record books once again by breaking the all time record for most earnings by an entertainer(alive or dead) in a given year.
The king of Rock and Roll Elvis Presley's estate at its highest peak could only muster $60m, while Michael's new $275m and growing figure is sure not be broken anytime soon.
Among his accolades are a number of other notable mentions:
26 American Music Awards
40 Billboard Awards
7 BRIT Awards
1 Golden Globe Award
1 MOBO Award
18 Grammy Awards
13 Guinness World Records
13MTV Awards
10 Soul Train Awards
14 NAACP Image Awards
56 RIAA Awards
4 American Video Awards
13 World Music Awards
A total of 386.
Apart from these, did you know that Michael has a patent for his shoes used in the Smooth Criminal video? These shoes allowed him and his dancers in that video to achieve a forward 45 degree lean beyond his center of gravity enabling the appearance of defying gravity. Go figure.
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The king of Rock and Roll Elvis Presley's estate at its highest peak could only muster $60m, while Michael's new $275m and growing figure is sure not be broken anytime soon.
Among his accolades are a number of other notable mentions:
26 American Music Awards
40 Billboard Awards
7 BRIT Awards
1 Golden Globe Award
1 MOBO Award
18 Grammy Awards
13 Guinness World Records
13MTV Awards
10 Soul Train Awards
14 NAACP Image Awards
56 RIAA Awards
4 American Video Awards
13 World Music Awards
A total of 386.
Apart from these, did you know that Michael has a patent for his shoes used in the Smooth Criminal video? These shoes allowed him and his dancers in that video to achieve a forward 45 degree lean beyond his center of gravity enabling the appearance of defying gravity. Go figure.
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Monday, October 25, 2010
Letter to Guyana
Guyanese Letter
Dear Beta:
Just a few lines to leh yuh know dat ah still alive. Ah writing slow cause ah know yuh cyah read fast. Yuh wont know de house when yuh come home. We move.
Ah wont be able to sen yuh de new address as de last Guyanese family dat live here tek de house numbers wid dem so they wont have to change deh address at dey new house.
About yuh fadda.....he gat ah lovely job. He gat now over 1500 men under he. He cuttin grass at de cemetery.
Dere was a washin machine in de new house when we move in, but it aint wokin too good. Last week ah put some shirts in it, pull de chain, and ah aint see de shirts since.
Yuh sister, Parbattie had a baby dis marning. Ah aint find out wedda is a boy or a girl, so ah doh know if yuh is ah aunt or ah uncle.
Yuh know Bharose? Well he drown last week in ah vat at de rum distillery. Some ah he fellow workers dive in to save he, but he fight dem off bravely. He family cremate he body, and it tek three days to put out de fire.
Yuh fadda didnt have much tuh drink fuh Christmas. Ah put ah bottle ah castor oil in he soup.... It keep he goin until New Years. Ah went to de dacta on Tursday and yuh fadda came wit meh . De dacta put a small tube in meh mouth an tell meh tuh nat open for 10 minutes.
Yuh fadda offer to buy it from he. It only rain twice last week. Fus for four days, and then for three days. Monday it was so windy dat de fowl cock fly roun de house fuh ah half hour and ah hen lay de same egg 3 times. Ah go write yuh again as soon as ah cud sneak ah next page outta Vindra copy book.
Love -
Mammy
PS: Ah was to send yuh ah twenty dalla but ah already seal de envalope.
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Dear Beta:
Just a few lines to leh yuh know dat ah still alive. Ah writing slow cause ah know yuh cyah read fast. Yuh wont know de house when yuh come home. We move.
Ah wont be able to sen yuh de new address as de last Guyanese family dat live here tek de house numbers wid dem so they wont have to change deh address at dey new house.
About yuh fadda.....he gat ah lovely job. He gat now over 1500 men under he. He cuttin grass at de cemetery.
Dere was a washin machine in de new house when we move in, but it aint wokin too good. Last week ah put some shirts in it, pull de chain, and ah aint see de shirts since.
Yuh sister, Parbattie had a baby dis marning. Ah aint find out wedda is a boy or a girl, so ah doh know if yuh is ah aunt or ah uncle.
Yuh know Bharose? Well he drown last week in ah vat at de rum distillery. Some ah he fellow workers dive in to save he, but he fight dem off bravely. He family cremate he body, and it tek three days to put out de fire.
Yuh fadda didnt have much tuh drink fuh Christmas. Ah put ah bottle ah castor oil in he soup.... It keep he goin until New Years. Ah went to de dacta on Tursday and yuh fadda came wit meh . De dacta put a small tube in meh mouth an tell meh tuh nat open for 10 minutes.
Yuh fadda offer to buy it from he. It only rain twice last week. Fus for four days, and then for three days. Monday it was so windy dat de fowl cock fly roun de house fuh ah half hour and ah hen lay de same egg 3 times. Ah go write yuh again as soon as ah cud sneak ah next page outta Vindra copy book.
Love -
Mammy
PS: Ah was to send yuh ah twenty dalla but ah already seal de envalope.
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Laws
1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.11. Law of the Theatre - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
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Sunday, October 24, 2010
Joe went into his proctologist's office for a rectal exam.
Elaine, the doctor's new nurse, took him to an examining room and told him to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see him.
While waiting, Joe observed that there were three items on a stand next to the exam table:
* a Tube of K-Y jelly
* a rubber glove
* a beer
When the doctor finally came in Joe said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"
The doctor flung the door open and yelled to his nurse, "Damn it Elaine, I said a BUTT LIGHT!"
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While waiting, Joe observed that there were three items on a stand next to the exam table:
* a Tube of K-Y jelly
* a rubber glove
* a beer
When the doctor finally came in Joe said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"
The doctor flung the door open and yelled to his nurse, "Damn it Elaine, I said a BUTT LIGHT!"
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The Male Physical..A comedy of errors...
Every wondered why men, as strong and as brawn as we appear to be, never or rarely discuss the "going ons" of a complete physical at the doctors office?
I say "Men be warned" why not? There are other labels out there that are applied to dangerous situations. Had a physical examination been a product it would read "Buyer Beware" or the doctor a house pet "Beware of the dog" would be a fence or gate posting. Warning signs have and will serve a purpose, mainly to give people the heads-up to impending danger.
Funny yes but think about what I'm saying for a few, yes ponder with me if you will (if you haven't already) the thought of a young man....No better yet, a man going with all good intentions to his doctor for a physical. To the young men out there take note.
Women out there may be saying that I'm about to cry foul because They have go to doctors all the time, so it can't be all that bad. All well and good as they, (ahum), you women are entitled to your own opinion. But there is a major difference here, and hopefully you'll see the humor and horror of it before article's end.
You see for women it easy to say that you're off to the Gynecologist and you leave home with the knowledge that hey, "today my doctor is going to be down there today", and with that in mind, adjust to suit. A urologist I'm thinking deals with urinary and genitalia issues of the male and female correct? What branch of medicine deals with Ass probing? Same specialist? No a proctologist !
I'm talking about a regular doctor, a regular man, on a regular day, whistling on his way to the doctor's office because he is telling himself " gee I love my life and my family so much, I think I'll go get me some insurance, together with a physical, lunch, a few drinks later and then a party perhaps?" Just a thought...in reality this is what happened (happens oops!).
This could happen to you :
This fella went for said physical by a recommended physician, a regular Doc.... Sat down filled out the required information and waited to be called.
Upon reaching and subsequently sitting on that cold examination table the eloquent sound of waves crashing from the 'Bose Wave Sound' radio permeated the room with its enchanting and oh so relaxing rhythms. "Ahh" the thought that this is such a nice office could not be ignored. After a brief discussion the doctor begins his examination.
You know, its normal to strip and when asked to do that I ( ahem), I mean this fella obliged and put on the gown. Moving on to the actual examination, one is asked to urinate in a kidney shaped bowl, however, let it be known that the idea of the sample is just that, a sample! Don't fill up the whole kidney with piss, just enough to dip those strips in to check your sugar. One's blood pressure is taken and if necessary a blood sample is taken (none was on that day).
A test of one's reflexes is next where one might be tempted to exaggerate movements and kick the doctor. From there the physician may check your muscles, joints and your lungs...you know, breathe in and breathe out ....Then comes the kicker!
This is where they get personal, "Buyer Beware"!!!
Be prepared to be up close and personal and pray to God for fresh breath! Your eyes and ears are next and I'm thinking this is as close as I get to any one before there is an exchange of bodily fluids.
And then wham! There it is you've got a stranger holding your scrotum aka BALLS in his hand without so much as a soft spoken word or a kiss, telling you to cough!!!
Invariably the physical was in motion and having someone cup your balls like a thief in the night and without so much as a warning was as a thought the end of a disturbing day. But needless to say it had just begun...
"Turn around and bend over". Words commonly associated with being incarcerated, would reverberate and send unmanly chills over, around and through any strait man's
body. What goes on in a persons mind is left to the individual. However for me, I'd be thinking that this is not how I figured my day will turn out.
In fact for the individual at hand it got worst when without warning a violation did occur! At this point the man in you tells you to turn around and confront the penetrator / perpetrator, but then one is asked to relax, huh? Relax and what, "take it like a man", take what? You are, as you may know are entitled to know "what" is going up your ass, don't you think so ?
Women, the shame of being violated borders on rape and one could only empathize with you as this ordeal compares not to your gynecological or mammography experiences.
But in so far as this goes, we men have had to hold pride in hand and address the issues of Prostrate Cancer and the prerequisite/ preventative annual more intense checkups associated with early detention and care of same...
No one died and life goes on.
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Friday, October 22, 2010
Cedar Druids horoscope by DailyHoroscope
The strong, magnificent Cedar has a revered history that dates back thousands of years. According to legend, its aromatic red wood was used in the construction of Noah's Ark, the Ark of the Covenant, and the cross on which Christ was crucified. This stunning beautiful tree, with its unmistakable silhouette, is associated with healing, cleansing, and protection against evil. Cedar Tree people are also beautiful, but despite their attractive appearance it is not their beauty, but rather their strength of mind that impresses others.
Confident and self-reliant, this sign can feel like home practically anywhere. Cedar people can adapt to any situation and find the perfect solution to even the toughest, most complex problem. Although Cedars feel no particular need to be admired, their dedication and hard work bring them plenty of admiration.
Most signs are drawn to Cedar Tree people. They seek out the Cedar's advice, value its opinions, and feel privileged to do favors for Cedar people. And that's fine, because Cedars like to be in a spotlight. They believe that they have a right to have the last word in any given situation.
Cedar Tree people can be tyrants, but they are a very trusting kind. They will never bother to look over anyone's shoulder to see that something has been done exactly as demanded. When dealing with others, Cedars often abuse their power, but they do so unintentionally. Because they are unfamiliar with modesty, shyness, and the lack of self-confidence, they may have many bullies. Even well past teen age, Cedars can hurt somebody's feelings or put someone down just to have a good chuckle. However, at the same time, Cedars are afraid to become an object of derision themselves. They will never forget anybody who has ever dared to make fun of them.
Cedar people are very self-assured, which is their greatest advantage and, at the same time, their greatest disadvantage. No matter how difficult the situation may be, Cedars never ask for help. In fact, they are great at finding trouble. Obstacles not only make Cedars stronger, they make them believe that they are unbeatable. Cedars are extreme optimists. They prefer to go with a flow because they always believe in a positive outcome. When Cedar Tree people take a matter into their own hands, they put all their energy and heart into it.
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Hackberry - Druid horoscope
Druids were ancient celtic priests who operated mainly in british and french areas. Regrettable is that there are no much information about ancient druids nowadays, because they shared their traditions by mouth-to-mouth instead of using literal archives.
Druids were and are known as nature-loving people, who had much effects in northern british-isles. Many druidic rites and ceremonies have transferred into modern days and pagan festivities like the halloween party. Also wiccan as a religion has much to thank for druids, as many of it's traditions are influenced by druids. Modern druids operate mainly on british isles.
Name
Hackberry
Dates
9.2-18.2,14.8-23.8
Type
Masculine
Element
Fire
Description
Hackberry person easily adapts to any situations without problems. He's got a good health and wants to amaze other and be center of everything. Hackberry-people can make quick and determined solutions.
He is a proud, self-centered and optimistic, which has cause him to make careless choices.
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Druids were and are known as nature-loving people, who had much effects in northern british-isles. Many druidic rites and ceremonies have transferred into modern days and pagan festivities like the halloween party. Also wiccan as a religion has much to thank for druids, as many of it's traditions are influenced by druids. Modern druids operate mainly on british isles.
Name
Hackberry
Dates
9.2-18.2,14.8-23.8
Type
Masculine
Element
Fire
Description
Hackberry person easily adapts to any situations without problems. He's got a good health and wants to amaze other and be center of everything. Hackberry-people can make quick and determined solutions.
He is a proud, self-centered and optimistic, which has cause him to make careless choices.
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Two Parrots
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots, But they only know to say one thing.' 'What do they say?' the priest asked.
They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?' 'That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,
Then he thought for a moment..... 'You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem.
I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible... Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, And your parrots are sure to stop saying... That phrase... In no time.' 'Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution.'
The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.... As he ushered her in, She saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying...
Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them... After a few minutes, The female parrots cried out in unison: Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?' There was stunned silence... Shocked, One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says, 'Put the beads away, Frank, Our prayers have been answered!
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I have two female parrots, But they only know to say one thing.' 'What do they say?' the priest asked.
They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?' 'That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,
Then he thought for a moment..... 'You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem.
I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible... Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, And your parrots are sure to stop saying... That phrase... In no time.' 'Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution.'
The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.... As he ushered her in, She saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying...
Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them... After a few minutes, The female parrots cried out in unison: Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?' There was stunned silence... Shocked, One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says, 'Put the beads away, Frank, Our prayers have been answered!
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Why Sharks Circle before attacking
Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing."
And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing."
And they did.
"Now we eat everybody."
And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked,
"Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"
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Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing."
And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing."
And they did.
"Now we eat everybody."
And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked,
"Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"
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Trini Retailers
A couple of Trini businessmen in Chaguanas were sitting down for a break in their soon to be open store. The store wasn't ready yet with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, "Ah bet any minute now, some chupidee go put he face in the window and ask what we selling"
No sooner were the words out of his mouth, when sure enough a curious window shopper walked to the window, had a peek and in a loud voice asked, "What all yuh selling here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We selling arse-holes."
Without skipping a beat, the window shopper said, "All yuh doin well then...only two left!"
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One said to the other, "Ah bet any minute now, some chupidee go put he face in the window and ask what we selling"
No sooner were the words out of his mouth, when sure enough a curious window shopper walked to the window, had a peek and in a loud voice asked, "What all yuh selling here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We selling arse-holes."
Without skipping a beat, the window shopper said, "All yuh doin well then...only two left!"
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Trini hearsay or Trini life
EXPERIENCED IT ALL:
Ignition switches on the dashboard, Air Horn button, Pioneer 'Clock Face' Cassette Deck and gold music horns on door posts of taxis.
Dish rims and spacers on cars so the tyres stick out
The punk belt, coral chain or black coral pendants, multi-coloured laces, Jerri Curl, Punk(mullet), Gumby or muff hair styles.
Pants leg clips for bicycles without chain guards so that the black oil don't rub on your pants or your foot..Clothes pin and card on bicycle spoke to click when rotating. Straighting of bicycle fork and extending it ..Replacing the standard bicycle handle with a strait bar.
Soldering COAL POT irons heated on a coal pot or pitch-oil stove
Using hand signals for cars without indicators or the little yellow hand would pop out of the side of the car door.
Older Than Dirt Quiz
Count all that you remember, not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom
1) Candy cigarettes, Kaiser ball, Chili Bibbi and mango chow, Tippi Tambo, Snatty nose Dongs, Goo-Goo-beff, Padu,
2) The parlor at the corner and the shop on. the main road
3) Storming fete.
4) Only 1 telephone on the whole street.
5) Newsreels before the movie, and the boys lime was in PIT (25 cents) and they would exit the side door and the cute girls would lime in HOUSE (50cents), and there was always a lady selling nuts and dinner mints on the steps outside. Checking out a Silver Fox double @ Globe....The Chinese shoe
6) TV - Ricky-Ticky- was the hardest children show with Jermaine Mitchell. The lime was at somebody's house and all the children in the area would be sitting on the floor enjoying the show - Only 1 TV Channel -TTT... , And only one or two TVs in the whole neighborhood. The Electric Company, Muppet Show and d original Sesame Street.
7) Sling shot, and the big game for the boys was 'police and tief' and gun and caps was the GUN of the times but "yuh muss only fall down and play dead"
8) Latrine, WC, Outhouse. Those who had toilet had a water tank high above your head with a long chain to pull to flush.
9) 78, 33 and 45 RPM was the records and a Gramophone or Turntable to play your records.
10) Hops bread, butter bread, rock cake, pallet, hail and a big snow cone without a cup.
11) Metal ice trays with a lever . Everybody had koolaid ice blocks.
12) Pitch Oil Flambeau and torch light with a Blue flashbulb - 2 cell using 2 batteries and a Green flashbulb - 3 cell using 3 batteries.
13) Playing marbles.. You had to have a snake eye and hop scotch in the yard. A big rope hanging from the tree with a piece of wood or tire for the seat to swing with.
14) The fish man would ride by every day on his bike with a horn on the bike handle squeezing and BAWLING - 'Carite, Moonshine and Cavali. A box full of fish on ice at the back. He had a scale, Guardian newspaper to wrap up the fish and a chopper to chop it up...The man knew everybody in the area by name and their choice of fish.
15) Scrubbing Board or Jooking Board, blue soap and Breeze, and mummy must bleach the clothes on some special stones at the back of the yard (Don't run on those stones - mummy would act like they are sacred) or, she had daddy build a bleach with wood and wire to lay out all the whites already washed in blue. Water at the stand pipe.
16) Boys raiding people's mango tree, plum tree, guava tree and any fruit tree at night and scaling fence. Next morning the poor tree is bare.
17) Every body had to be Uncle or Auntie and yuh better say Good Morning to everybody before they tell on you, or is LICKS. "Yuh Rude"
18) Getting a 'CUFF IN YUH MOUTH or a CLOUT IN YUH HEAD' for answering back, watching CUT EYE or WALKING OFF when Mummy speak to you.
19) POSEY or TENSIL to pee in at night and no body want to empty it or wash it. Don't let mummy smell it because is LICKS IN YUH TAIL
20) And you had to drink your BUSH TEA, and take Senna Pod tea, your SALTS, CASTOR OIL, worm out or else...
If you remembered 0 to 3: You're still young
If you remembered 3 to 6: You are getting older
If you remembered 7 to 15: Don't tell your age
If you remembered ALL = You might be older than 'rock of ages'
But those memories should be some of the best days of your life. Don't you agree?
Share with your LONG TIME friends.... Trini forever!!!!!
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Typical Trini Man?
A Carenage girl decided to end it all one night by casting herself into the cold, dark waters off the quay.
As she stood on the edge, pondering the infinite, a sailor noticed her as he strolled by. "You're not thinking of jumping, are you babes?" he asked. "Yes, I am." replied the sobbing girl. Putting his arm around her, the kind sailor coaxed her back from the edge.
"Look, nothing's worth that. I'll tell you what. I'm sailing off for America tomorrow. Why don't you stowaway on board and start a new life over there.
I'll set you up in the engine room, bring you food and water every night and I'll look after you, if you look after me - if you know what I mean. You just have to keep very quiet so that you won't be found."
The girl, having no better prospects, agreed and the sailor sneaked her on board that very night. For the next two weeks the sailor came to her in the engine room every night, bringing food and water and making love to her until dawn.
Then, during the third week, the captain was performing a routine inspection of the ship and found the startled young woman and demanded an explanation.
The girl came clean, "I've stowed away to get to America. One of the sailors is helping me out. He set me up in here and brings me food and water every night and he's screwing me."
The puzzled captain stared at her for a moment before a grin cracked his face and he buss out laughing, "Girl, he screwing you big time. This is the Tobago Ferry!"
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As she stood on the edge, pondering the infinite, a sailor noticed her as he strolled by. "You're not thinking of jumping, are you babes?" he asked. "Yes, I am." replied the sobbing girl. Putting his arm around her, the kind sailor coaxed her back from the edge.
"Look, nothing's worth that. I'll tell you what. I'm sailing off for America tomorrow. Why don't you stowaway on board and start a new life over there.
I'll set you up in the engine room, bring you food and water every night and I'll look after you, if you look after me - if you know what I mean. You just have to keep very quiet so that you won't be found."
The girl, having no better prospects, agreed and the sailor sneaked her on board that very night. For the next two weeks the sailor came to her in the engine room every night, bringing food and water and making love to her until dawn.
Then, during the third week, the captain was performing a routine inspection of the ship and found the startled young woman and demanded an explanation.
The girl came clean, "I've stowed away to get to America. One of the sailors is helping me out. He set me up in here and brings me food and water every night and he's screwing me."
The puzzled captain stared at her for a moment before a grin cracked his face and he buss out laughing, "Girl, he screwing you big time. This is the Tobago Ferry!"
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Trini Couple
A newlywed Trini couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies so he said to his new wife, "Baby, ah coming back."
.''Where yuh going, honey bunny?" asked the wife.
"Ah going by de bar, dahlin. Ah going and drink a beer."
'The wife said, 'Yuh want a beer, my love?'
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Trinidad & Tobago , Germany , Jamaica , Holland , Guyana , Japan , America , etc..
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was
,"Yes, sweetness...but by de bar...yuh know...dey have frozen glasses...' He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'Yuh want a frozen glass, puppy face?"
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, chunkulunks, but by de bar dey have dem cutters that does go down REAL good... Ah wouldn't be long, ah coming back now. Ah promise
. OK?' You want cutters, doo-doo?' She opened the oven and took out five dishes of different cutters: chicken wings, geera pork, fried wantons etc.
"But pumpkin... By de bar... Yuh know...the atmosphere nah.....it have cussin, dirty words and all that..."
"Yuh want cussin sugar plum? Drink yuh f**kin beer in yuh mudda c*nt frozen glass and eat yuh f***in cutters right dey. Yuh marrid now, and yuh ain't goin no f***in where without me! Not ah f**k at dat! Feel yuh f***in smart!
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.''Where yuh going, honey bunny?" asked the wife.
"Ah going by de bar, dahlin. Ah going and drink a beer."
'The wife said, 'Yuh want a beer, my love?'
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Trinidad & Tobago , Germany , Jamaica , Holland , Guyana , Japan , America , etc..
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was
,"Yes, sweetness...but by de bar...yuh know...dey have frozen glasses...' He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'Yuh want a frozen glass, puppy face?"
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, chunkulunks, but by de bar dey have dem cutters that does go down REAL good... Ah wouldn't be long, ah coming back now. Ah promise
. OK?' You want cutters, doo-doo?' She opened the oven and took out five dishes of different cutters: chicken wings, geera pork, fried wantons etc.
"But pumpkin... By de bar... Yuh know...the atmosphere nah.....it have cussin, dirty words and all that..."
"Yuh want cussin sugar plum? Drink yuh f**kin beer in yuh mudda c*nt frozen glass and eat yuh f***in cutters right dey. Yuh marrid now, and yuh ain't goin no f***in where without me! Not ah f**k at dat! Feel yuh f***in smart!
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IRS Audit
------The I.R.S. Audit----
At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.
While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said,
"I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?
"Good question," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages.
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.
"What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?
"Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster.
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO.
"Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick."
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At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.
While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said,
"I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?
"Good question," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages.
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.
"What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?
"Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster.
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO.
"Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick."
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Clean Laugh
Moishe Plotnik's Laundry(A true story!)
Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners..... .
When he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry.''Moishe Plotnik?' he wondered.
'How does that belong in Chinatown??
'He walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking dry cleaner, although he could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the store name as there were baseball hats, T-shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo 'Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry.'
The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office.
Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who thanked him for his purchase. The tourist asked, 'Can you explain how this place got a name like 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry?''
The old man answered, 'Ah..Evleebody ask me dat. It name of owner.
'Looking around, the tourist asked, 'Is he here now?
''It me, Me him!' replied the old man.'Really? You're Chinese. How did you ever get a Jewish name like Moishe Plotnik?
''It simple' said the old man. 'Many, many year ago I come to this country. I, standing in line at 'Document Center of Immigration.
'Man in front of me was man from Poland..''Lady at counter look at him and say to him, 'What you name?'He (Polish man) say to her, 'Moishe Plotnik.'Then she look at me and say, 'What your name?'I say, 'Sam Ting.'??
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Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners..... .
When he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry.''Moishe Plotnik?' he wondered.
'How does that belong in Chinatown??
'He walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking dry cleaner, although he could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the store name as there were baseball hats, T-shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo 'Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry.'
The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office.
Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who thanked him for his purchase. The tourist asked, 'Can you explain how this place got a name like 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry?''
The old man answered, 'Ah..Evleebody ask me dat. It name of owner.
'Looking around, the tourist asked, 'Is he here now?
''It me, Me him!' replied the old man.'Really? You're Chinese. How did you ever get a Jewish name like Moishe Plotnik?
''It simple' said the old man. 'Many, many year ago I come to this country. I, standing in line at 'Document Center of Immigration.
'Man in front of me was man from Poland..''Lady at counter look at him and say to him, 'What you name?'He (Polish man) say to her, 'Moishe Plotnik.'Then she look at me and say, 'What your name?'I say, 'Sam Ting.'??
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Can you unfold a Rosebud?
GOD'S Rosebud:
A new minister was walking with an older,more seasoned minister in the garden one day. Feeling a bit insecure about what God had for him to do,he was asking the older preacher for some advice.
The older preacher walked up to a rosebush and handed the young preacher a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing off any petals.
The young preacher looked in disbelief at the older preacher and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of God for his life and ministry.
But because of his great respect for the older preacher,he proceeded to try to unfold the rose,while keeping every petal intact. It wasn't long before he realized how impossible this was to do.
Noticing the younger preacher's inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older preacher began to recite the following poem...
"It is only a tiny rosebud, A flower of God's design; But I cannot unfold the petals With these clumsy hands of mine."
"The secret of unfolding flowers Is not known to such as I. GOD opens this flower so easily, But in my hands they die."
"If I cannot unfold a rosebud, This flower of God's design, Then how can I have the wisdom To unfold this life of mine?"
"So I'll trust in God for leading Each moment of my day. I will look to God for guidance In each step of the way."
"The path that lies before me, Only my Lord knows. I'll trust God to unfold the moments,Just as He unfolds the rose."
Please share this poem with a friend if you enjoyed being reminded to let go and let God unfold your life.
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A new minister was walking with an older,more seasoned minister in the garden one day. Feeling a bit insecure about what God had for him to do,he was asking the older preacher for some advice.
The older preacher walked up to a rosebush and handed the young preacher a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing off any petals.
The young preacher looked in disbelief at the older preacher and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of God for his life and ministry.
But because of his great respect for the older preacher,he proceeded to try to unfold the rose,while keeping every petal intact. It wasn't long before he realized how impossible this was to do.
Noticing the younger preacher's inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older preacher began to recite the following poem...
"It is only a tiny rosebud, A flower of God's design; But I cannot unfold the petals With these clumsy hands of mine."
"The secret of unfolding flowers Is not known to such as I. GOD opens this flower so easily, But in my hands they die."
"If I cannot unfold a rosebud, This flower of God's design, Then how can I have the wisdom To unfold this life of mine?"
"So I'll trust in God for leading Each moment of my day. I will look to God for guidance In each step of the way."
"The path that lies before me, Only my Lord knows. I'll trust God to unfold the moments,Just as He unfolds the rose."
Please share this poem with a friend if you enjoyed being reminded to let go and let God unfold your life.
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Obama Will Triumph -- So Will America By Frank Schaeffer
Frank Schaeffer is a New York Times best selling author.
Before he'd served even one year President Obama lost the support of the easily distracted left and engendered the white hot rage of the hate-filled right.
But some of us, from all walks of life and ideological backgrounds -- including this white, straight, 57-year old,former religious right-wing agitator, now progressive writer and (given my background as the son of a famous evangelical leader) this unlikely Obama supporter -- are sticking with our President.
Why?-- because he is succeeding. We, faithful Obama supporters still trust our initial impression of him as a great, good and uniquely qualified man to lead us. Obama's steady supporters will be proved right. Obama's critics will be remembered as easily panicked and prematurely discouraged at best and shriveled hate mongers at worst.
The Context of the Obama Presidency Not since the days of the rise of fascism in Europe , the Second World War and the Depression has any president faced more adversity. Not since the Civil War has any president led a more bitterly divided country. Not since the introduction of racial integration has any president faced a more consistently short-sighted and willfully ignorant opposition - from both the right and left.
As the President's poll numbers have fallen so has his support from some on the left that were hailing him as a Messiah not long ago; all those lefty websites and commentators that were falling all over themselves on behalf of our first black president during the 2008 election. The left's lack of faith has become a self-fulfilling "prophecy"-- snipe at the President and then watch the poll numbers fall and then pretend you didn't have anything to do with it!
Here is what Obama faced when he took office-- none of which was his fault:
# An ideologically divided country to the point that America was really two countries
# Two wars; one that was mishandled from the start, the other that was unnecessary and immoral
# The worst economic crisis since the depression
# America 's standing in the world at the lowest point in history
# A country that had been misled into accepting the use of torture of prisoners of war
# A health care system in free fall
# An educational system in free fall
# A global environmental crisis of history-altering proportions(about which the Bush administration and the Republicans had done nothing)
# An impasse between culture warriors from the right and left
# A huge financial deficit inherited from the terminally irresponsible Bush administration.
And those were only some of the problems sitting on the President's desk!
"Help" from the Right?
What did the Republicans and the religious right, libertarians and half-baked conspiracy theorists -- that is what the Republicans were reduced to by the time Obama took office -- do to "help" our new president (and our country) succeed?
They claimed that he wasn't a real American, didn't have an American birth certificate, wasn't born here, was secretly a Muslim, was white-hating "racist", was secretly a communist, was actually the Anti-Christ, (!) and was a reincarnation of Hitler and wanted "death panels" to kill the elderly! They not-so-subtly called for his assassination through the not-so-subtle use of vile signs held at their rallies and even a bumper sticker quoting Psalm 109:8.
They organized "tea parties" to sound off against imagined insults and all government in general and gathered to howl at the moon. They were led by insurance industry lobbyists and deranged (but well financed) "commentators" from Glenn Beck to Rush Limbaugh. The utterly discredited Roman Catholic bishops teamed up with the utterly discredited evangelical leaders to denounce a president who was trying to actually do something about the poor, the environment, to diminish the number of abortions through compassionate programs to help women and to care for the sick!
And in Congress the Republican leadership only knew one word: "No!"
In other words the reactionary white, rube uneducated, crazy American far right,combined with the educated but obtuse neoconservative war mongers, religious right shills for big business, libertarian Fed Reserve-hating gold bug, gun-loving crazies, child-molesting acquiescent "bishops"frontier loons and evangelical gay-hating flakes found one thing to briefly unite them:
Their desire to stop an uppity black man from succeeding at all costs!
"Help" from the Left?
What did the left do to help their newly elected president? Some of them excoriated the President because they disagreed with the bad choices he was being forced to make regarding a war in Afghanistan that he inherited from the worst president in modern history!
Others stood up and bravely proclaimed that the President's economic policies had "failed" before the President even instituted them! Others said that since all gay rights battles had not been fully won within virtually minutes of the President taking office, they'd been "betrayed"!
(Never mind that Obama's vocal support to the gay community is stronger than any other president's has been. Never mind that he signed a new hate crimes law!)
Those that had stood in transfixed legions weeping with beatific emotion on election night turned into an angry mob saying how "disappointed" they were that they'd not all immediately been translated to heaven the moment Obama stepped into the White House! Where was the "change"?
Contrary to their expectations they were still mere mortals!And the legion of young new supporters was too busy texting to pay attention for longer than a nano second. "Governing"?!
What the hell does that word, uh, like mean?"
The President's critics left and right all had one thing in common: impatience laced with little-to-no sense of history (let alone reality) thrown in for good measure. Then of course there were the white, snide know-it-all commentators/talking heads who just couldn't imagine that maybe, just maybe they weren't as smart as they thought they were and certainly not as smart as their president. He hadn't consulted them, had he? So he must be wrong!
The Obama critics' ideological ideas defined their idea of reality rather than reality defining their ideas-say, about what is possible in one year in office after the hand that the President had been dealt by fate, or to be exact by the American idiot nation that voted Bush into office. twice!
Meanwhile back in the reality-based community - in just 12 short months -- President Obama:
#Continued to draw down the misbegotten war in Iraq (But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Thoughtfully and decisively picked the best of several bad choices regarding the war in Afghanistan(But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Gave a major precedent-setting speech supporting gay rights (But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Restored America 's image around the globe(But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Banned torture of American prisoners(But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Stopped the free fall of the American economy(But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Put the USA squarely back in the bilateral international community(But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Put the USA squarely into the middle of the international effort to halt global warming(But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Stood up for educational reform(But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Won a Nobel peace prize(But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Moved the trial of terrorists back into the American judicial system of checks and balances(But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Did what had to be done to start the slow, torturous and almost impossible process of health care reform that 7 presidents had failed to even begin(But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Responded to hatred from the right and left with measured good humor and patience(But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Stopped the free fall of job losses(But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Showed immense personal courage in the face of an armed and dangerous far right opposition that included the sort of disgusting people that show up at public meetings carrying loaded weapons and carrying Timothy McVeigh inspired signs about the "blood of tyrants" needing to "water the tree of liberty". (But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
#Showed that he could not only make the tough military choices but explained and defended them brilliantly(But that wasn't good enough for his critics)
Other than those "disappointing" accomplishments -- IN ONE YEAR -- President Obama "failed"!
Other than that he didn't "live up to expectations"!
Who actually has failed......are the Americans that can't see the beginning of a miracle of national rebirth right under their jaded noses.
Who failed are the smart ass ideologies of the left and right who began rooting for this President to fail so that they could be proved right in their dire and morbid predictions.
Who failed are the movers and shakers behind our obscenely dumb news cycles that have turned "news" into just more stupid entertainment for an entertainment-besotted infantile country.
Here's the good news:
President Obama is succeeding without the help of his lefty "supporters" or hate-filled Republican detractors! The Future Looks Good After Obama has served two full terms, (and he will), after his wisdom in moving deliberately and cautiously with great subtlety on all fronts -- with a canny and calculating eye to the possible succeeds, (it will), after the economy is booming and new industries are burgeoning, (they will be), after the doom sayers are all proved not just wrong but silly:
Let the record show that not all Americans were panicked into thinking the sky was falling. Just because we didn't get everything we wanted in the first short and fraught year Obama was in office not all of us gave up. Some of us stayed the course. And we will be proved right.
PS. if you agree that Obama is shaping up to be a great president, please pass this on and hang in there! Pass it on anyway to ensure that his "report card" gets the attention it deserves.
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Thursday, October 21, 2010
YUP, YOU GOTTA LOVE THE PIG!!!
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb..
(Now that's more like it !)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig..)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.(Honey, I'm home. What the...?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm.......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light..
(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??, Do the dolphins know about the pig?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.
In other words, send it to everyone!
(and God love that pig!)
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Natal Curry cook-off Contest
For those of you who have lived in Natal, you know how typical this is. They actually have a curry cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB.
Judge 3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank who was visiting from America.
Frank:
"Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Beer Garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges, (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."
Here are the scorecard notes from the event.
CURRY 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY
Judge 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit! What the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.
CURRY 2 - PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY
Judge 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chilli tang.
Judge 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavour; needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver! They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
CURRY 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS 'BURN DOWN THE GARAGE' CURRY
Judge 1 -- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge 2 -- A bit salty; good use of chilli peppers.
Judge 3 -- Call 911. I've located a uranium pill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pissed from all the beer.
CURRY 4 - BABOO'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY
Judge 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods; not much of a curry.
Judge 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer maid was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chilli an aphrodisiac?
CURRY 5 - LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge 1 -- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge 2 -- Average beef curry; could use more tomato. Must admit the chilli peppers make a strong statement.
Judge 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chilli had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.
CURRY 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic. Superb.
Judge 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I am definitely going to shit myself if I fart and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone ice-cream.
CURRY 7 - SELINA'S 'MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE' CURRY
Judge 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge 2 -- Ho hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chilli peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that I am worried about Judge 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.)
Judge 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing - it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CURRY 8 - NAIDOO'S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY
Judge 1 -- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge 3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor man. Wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot curry?
Judge 3 -- No Report
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Family and Life
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
Marilyn Monroe
It is apparent that in need one's best and first shoulder to lean on will be of course be provided by one's FAMILY.
Note that not all family structures are made up in such a way as to provide a base or foundation for one to do same. For example , it is a given that money changes people and by extension the relationship structure of the a family.
How often do we hear of family squabbles over bequeathed or disputed estates, where once there was unity there now lies a division between siblings .....Yes sibling rivalry, heard of it?
I'm sure you may have had personal a experience in same or know of someone who has or who is presently going through this dilemma.
So now that this base or sanctuary has been eroded, where do or does one turn for absolution. The lawyers? Whose only interest in a family dispute is reap the rewards of a long term non resolute, non communal , estranged family setting? In fact for the lawyers its always a win win scenario.
With that said it is always good to remember that a compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. And that goes without saying especially as it relates to family and family related issues, financial or otherwise.
So heads up people, you are not in any way alone out there when it comes to fighting the ultimate fight in Family and Life........
.
To quote the words of Oscar Wilde(1854 – 1900) an Irish author, and poet, and one of London's most popular playwrights of the same era:
"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."
Sent from my BlackBerry® device from Digicel
Marilyn Monroe
It is apparent that in need one's best and first shoulder to lean on will be of course be provided by one's FAMILY.
Note that not all family structures are made up in such a way as to provide a base or foundation for one to do same. For example , it is a given that money changes people and by extension the relationship structure of the a family.
How often do we hear of family squabbles over bequeathed or disputed estates, where once there was unity there now lies a division between siblings .....Yes sibling rivalry, heard of it?
I'm sure you may have had personal a experience in same or know of someone who has or who is presently going through this dilemma.
So now that this base or sanctuary has been eroded, where do or does one turn for absolution. The lawyers? Whose only interest in a family dispute is reap the rewards of a long term non resolute, non communal , estranged family setting? In fact for the lawyers its always a win win scenario.
With that said it is always good to remember that a compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. And that goes without saying especially as it relates to family and family related issues, financial or otherwise.
So heads up people, you are not in any way alone out there when it comes to fighting the ultimate fight in Family and Life........
.
To quote the words of Oscar Wilde(1854 – 1900) an Irish author, and poet, and one of London's most popular playwrights of the same era:
"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."
Sent from my BlackBerry® device from Digicel
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Who am I ?
Born on the 14th of february 1967, Valentine’s day , an Aquarian, I am a Trinidadian born in the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago. University educated, I grew up in a middle class/ upper middle class family structure that in itself has its own issues …However not a solid family structure , I still grew up with a strong foundation and good values.
My values were tested all through to present as they have allowered me to stay grounded and when wrong, blame no one but my self. My mother was responsible for that (RIP).
So here I am about to embark on a journey that I wish to carry you on. Blogging? What the hell is that? Well for sure I usually have a lot to say, but where do I start an what do I ‘Blog’ about.
This being my first note I’ll keep it simple..just to get the hang of it I suppose. But really my friends keep telling me that I should write a book about my life because it seems that I always have some episode that seem to humor them. So I guess this is one way to express myself…what do u think?
So as I go along and get used to this medium I eventually get the gist of what I’m doing and my purpose for doing it…if that makes sense. And thinking about it I guess I could always talk about the things that I like and don’t like….One thing for sure is service, or lack there of…And of course I love cooking and gourmet foods….could talk about that as well. Or maybe I’ll be that fella who checks out your eatery and critiques your food , drinks, damn! I’ll critique your ass if you let me!
Sorry ’bout that; But already I’m beginning to get a feel for this so all I can say is lend me your support, first to my friends and by extension the wider community. And maybe this will go somewhere ….I hope it does. So until my next blog …..Question? Should I have some sort of parting hook ? Like “See ya!” Or like “Hit you back!” Hell with it. ” I hungry so what you gonna eat? “. That’s it!!
Moving n Understanding the folks
Leaving one’s friends behind is one of the hardest things any boy my age should have to go through. It was one of the most jarring times in my life … I was only eleven @ the time and it seemed as though someone had just pulled the rug from beneath me and by extension my mother and sister. We were moving from Carenage to Diego Martin..And even though the move was sudden , the hurtful part was not being able to say goodbye in the shorterm and the long lasting resentment of our friends and neighbors,,,. But as we tried and tried to explain to no avail, that we didn’t know we were moving, those cries fell harder and harder on deaf ears. .
Where was my moms mouth in all of this you ask? Well her personality didn’t allow her to act out in the presence of my rigid and ignorant father. A petite woman in stature, a trait that was more often than not overshadowed by her big heart and generous nature, which led her into the role of matriarch of our family and extended family. But with that came a price as she and my father were like fire and ice.
As a couple they fought a lot but all in all as parents…where my father faltered my mom picked up the slack and one thing gained from that experience apart from what not to do in a marriage, was the strong work ethics they both showed, as well as the emphasis on education, moral and spiritual values. My house however had no love in it. At least it was not spoken. Come to think of it we never said “I love you” in that house or even hugged, leading one to believe that we were a family apart…maybe we were.
Laughter came @ the expense of others; And when we laughed we laughed! My mom @ one time had this Chinese hairdresser downtown, and on this particular day when she went by him he told her ” Miss Cookie ah have a new ting ah wanna try….. u mind? ”
Well my mom is all for a bargain so what the hell!
By the time she came home she was bald ! I mean bald-bald, not a grain on d woman head …Zero Hair os, nada! And my father had a field day with that one, going so far as to buy a wig and place it on a water melon…That was one of the many funny episodes…She was also accident prone; Looking back now I realize how lucky I am to be alive.
She was a scary driver like my father. They both needed a license to have a license to drive. She was always late to everything, and when she’s late is now self you have to clear the road. Imagine folks, no cell phone back then but d woman talking talking talking to who ever listening, plus lipstick going on, plus everytime a car come close she pulling to the left, everytime!
My father’s problem was that he was a road hord/hog. Nobody supposed to pass him, so when we in the car @ break neck speed, bet your bottom dollar that somebody behind giving him lights, signaling that they want to pass, but ‘Paaa-Pah?’ Not today paa lo, pick a number, cause papa’s got a brand new car!
These are my folks….
I saw this photo a few years ago and showed it to my mom…..and went “Awwwww …” And with a tear in my eye and a frog in my throat I said to my mom ” this is such a beautiful picture mom …you look so beautiful..” And her response to me was ” That was the most miserable day in my life …you know I didn’t know that man was married before ..!!” She also went on to tell me…. “And come to find out he had six children too? Hogwash!”<div class="wp-caption alignnone" style="width: 1610px"
That smile worked for him
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Day two (2) My Blog…Like i still in introduction mood…Steups!
On with our story…..”Yes on with our story”. On day one I basically gave you a little snippet of me, so maybe as my friends would say….”Just tell them about u”. Yeah right!
Well for one! I don’t know if I’m Blogging or Twittering? I here feeling kind of silly writing this missive only to realize that my mouth is moving as I type…Damn! Have I become my gone but not forgotten parents?
My mother spoke to herself @ times, used to call it self- affirmation, I just called it being “off your rockers…Mad….Ko Koo”. And my dad had a “busy sexy foot”….When he crossed his legs he would shake his foot while @ the time, smoked his pipe. Not a crack pipe! An authentic English man’s pipe mind u.
Though my dad studied and lived like my mom in England, my dad was as English as a hairy toothpick in an olive and cheese Hors d’oeuvres, as soon as the charm and politeness served his purpose, and he got what he wanted…steups for u!
We never really knew how rich he really was ..well basically we still finding out, but back then we always had and I guess that made things seem normal I guess.
We grew in Glencoe Carenage, near to the Trinidad Marina/ Yacht Club on a street called Strathaven Road. And as I remember it my dad was a Man’s Man. Plumber, Electrician, Gardener, Carpenter, shit the man could even cook! Or yes! And Mason. But his biggest flaw was his eye; Couldn’t see a skirt.
Anyway, a nuclear family consisting of course my parents and my sister who’s name as best as possible I would try to omit from further discussion, and innocent me…. Back to my father…..He always as far back as I could remember had three cars. Not one like normal people , three. A pick-up, a luxury car aka Kingswood (power windows etc) and was always buying and selling a car. My mother dare not question him…no no. He was man! Honga Munga!!
This is funny. One day a boldface neighbor decided to pick an argument with d ole man. Oh! How my father have to watch he property line and how he cyah be making noise in he machine shop because it keeping him up @ night ….blah blah blah. Anyway, I remember this as clear as day. Shit this deserves a new paragraph!
Ok , where was I..right ! I remember my father throwing down the yard broom (he was sweeping) calmly walking inside…..my mom was like “children go inside” , I knew back then the smell of bachannal. Especially when my father came back outside armed!
Yes armed with several pieces of paper and told my neighbor to check his deed to see who really own what! He told the man “And don’t be late with your next payment!”. Ha ha ha what a laugh what a riot ! Somehow between Bim and Bam my father had owned that man’ s house. Needless to say my mother was lost as we all were discovering this….Well not to out do himself he had another surprise up his sleeve. He said let’s go! Well not exactly like that, but u get the drift.
Jumping in the third car, this one was a Super Saloon PU 9619; We drove down La Horquette Valley Rd where he pointed to a large house on the hill and said that was his and we moving there! Well that never happened. He got a better deal, so he sold that house.
How did I find out..Well by this time my father’s business was picking up and so were the arguments. Still living in Glencoe we had maids and a chauffeur @ this time, but @ night , well one in particular. Parents were arguing about lord knows what! Anyway my dad says let’s go!”Get your school stuff one time!” And off we went.
Into Diego Martin we drove and into a yard that the house in Glencoe could fit in! So I’m like “Whay?”
“So daddy who house is dis ?” A normal question for any young boy to his father…His response was ” Boy shut yuh dam mouth and pick a room and sleep!!” And that was that!
Next morning I awoke to a mansion. It had everything : Built-in stove, oven, dishwasher, fridge with ice maker…built-in cupboards the works. There was even a pool.
Next morning I awoke to a mansion. It had everything : Built-in stove, oven, dishwasher, fridge with ice maker…built-in cupboards the works. There was even a pool.
The next week my friends and I were playing in the street when two 3 tonne long tray trucks come down the street with my father in toe. That day will forever be etched in my mind. My mother coming home from work and my father saying we moving ! And that was that!
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